Never Blank Space

Walking in Memphis, and Vegas...

2010-03-01T11:20:00.000-08:00

The feeling of finishing the seminar on last Friday was one of the most elated moments I'd had the entire week. I felt released from the chains of my captors... and I hadn't even left the building. I put on my running clothes, dropped my presenter at the airport for her earlier flight, and then went for a run in Lee Park along the Mississippi in Memphis. The sun was shining and I just kept running for almost 35 minutes (okay, there was some walking in there...). It really reminded me why I loved this job, and what I need to do to keep going now that I'm not so thrilled about the day-to-day aspects. Once I was done, I walked through a neighborhood for a while to cool down, and then I managed to change into proper Vegas clothes in my car, since the park bathrooms consisted of two port-a-potties. Thank you changing in cars all the time for dance classes in my youth.

My flight wasn't until 7:50, so I still had time. I drove around Memphis, going past Beale St. Once I finally got to the airport, I had a coffee and some BBQ before getting on my way to VEGAS. It was a great time there... going out with the crowd, checking out the hotels and doing some wandering of the strip, getting all primped, seeing Jersey Boys, and getting a nice dinner. Then finally, going out to Tao and seeing Kim Kardashian and her mom who were "hosting" the event. We danced and had a blast, and the girls in the group definitely enjoyed the free-ness of being female (I only spend a few dollars at Tao on tips for the free drinks from 10-11pm) while the guys enjoyed not wearing shoes that inflict constant pain.

Now, I'm back in the deep south for a week, on my way to picking up state #48 (MS) on Wenesday (although I could MAYBE get out of the car on my drive tonight and get it today...). So far, I've clogged my arteries with crawfish etoufee and hush puppies, soon there will be beignets and coffee, and then who knows! I need to go for a treadmill run tonight...

One of Those Days

2010-02-25T06:09:00.000-08:00

Waking up today was a bit rough. I'd had a long night on a sleep number bed (yuck) and fighting with the heating system in my room which seemed to regard being set for 70 degrees as instructions to continue pumping over-heated air into my room all night. My alarm went off and I was so deep in sleep that I was completely disoriented. Yet, I got myself up and out of bed, only to notice that the sun was coming up. Fayetteville is surprisingly pretty at sun-up.

I was putting on my clothes, giddy at the bright pink dress I was planning on wearing, when there was a knock at the door. Standing there was my sweet and diminutive presenter, near tears.

"Is your hot water out?"

"I haven't checked... What's wrong?"

"Oh..." she said, lip quivering. "I went to iron my suit and when I opened the closet, the iron fell out and hit me in the head." She lifted up her bangs to show a growing red lump on her forehead. "Do you have any Tylenol or Advil?"

I rushed to my first aid ziplock to find her something all the while thinking, how is she going to do the whole seminar if she has a concussion? Should I take her to the ER? I doled out some Advil and told her she should just rest for a bit before going down to the room, but she had no intention of doing that. I told her I'd be about 10-15 minutes, as I was only half dressed.

Upon arriving down at the meeting room, I saw my presenter looking forlorn and talking to the banquet staff person. Another day, another failed room set up. The room looked nothing like what it should have looked like and the next 10 minutes was a constant shuffling of tables and seting up, in which I managed to jam my finger against my tech case, jarring my fingernail in just the right way to cause intense pain. Finishing up the set up, we heard the speakers and just about broke down, as they sounded about as bad as I've ever heard.

I went out to set up the reg table and heard a massive crash behind me. The hotel staff had dropped a big stack of glasses, shattering them. The vacuums came out as the first participant arrived, half an hour early.

Now, the hallway is so cold that I can hardly stand it so I'll be spending the day in the back of the meeting room which is a tolerable temperature.

The good news is that my paperwork is done, I've got my to-do list, and best of all, it turns out that Fayetteville is cute enough to go wander around in. Plus, I have it on a good recommendation for a restaurant not far from where I am (thanks Lisa!). I'm in my 47th state. I get to have Memphis BBQ for dinner. I'm going to be in Vegas in two days.

AND there's an awesome thrift store here. Cheap Thrills. I got a purse and a necklace that scream VEGAS!! Things are looking up.

Breaking the Girl

2010-02-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Seattle never ceases to remind me why I want to come back. Over the last week it was amazingly gorgeous and after spending lots of time with friends and family I just can't wait to be based back there, to have my own apartment, and just actually live somewhere... and have the energy to do things while I'm there. I managed to do a few fun things: a spa day, the Stranger's Valentines Bash, some serious shopping, a haircut, my taxes (yay return!), and some food dates with various people, but all in all I really just slept, read, and disconnected for the entirety of last week. It was glorious.

I have never wanted to stay home quite this badly. But I'll manage this week as I pick up Oklahoma and Arkansas (46 & 47 respectively on the quest for 50), and then it's off to Vegas for the weekend with some other PM's. It's a three-week stint and a three-dress wardrobe for me this time, but I'll manage as long as I can find a laundry somewhere towards the end of next week.

Boredom apparently is my middle name, but it's time for me to hunker down and take care of myself for a few weeks (excepting the Vegas 36 hours of course!!). Don't expect exciting blog posts from Fayetteville, AR.

Trying to Stay Positive...

2010-02-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

Snow driving is not so hard and it's beautiful

...except when the snow blows across the road and you can't see the road and your clenching the steering wheel so tightly your hands ache.

I'm flying home on a direct flight tomorrow

...from O'Hare with hundreds of canceled flights in the last two days and a huge cancellation backlog on the eastern seaboard.

I have a week off

...but two more days on the road, and I'm beyond exhausted.

I stayed in a hotel with this in the front lobby:

Yup. Nothing negative about that. :)

Ode to Working the Health Care

2010-02-08T11:06:00.000-08:00

As I've done a solid run through my coverage the other day, and will continue to do so through the end of May, I have a few thoughts.

First off, how does anyone ever find a doctor they like? I've been bouncing around within the Group Health system because I find that really... unless I'm due for someone to poke and prod me, the email and phone networks they have set up work really well for me, especially being on the road. I like that I can fire off email questions, but I've never liked the doctors in my visits that much. The nurses are definitely more interesting to talk to and a lot warmer in personality.

Secondly, I'm not too keen on the fact that I went in to mainly talk about a nagging on/off problem with my anxiety, and the doctor suggested anti-depressants right away. SSRI's are not a laughing matter, and I'm not depressed. After the little 10 point "questionnaire" she said she might say I have "very mild depression," but really, I just get mini panic attacks when I can't sleep for a week straight and have to deal with craziness from my presenter at the same time... which is definitely not the same thing. I've done everything I can to deal with them, but diet and exercise can go right out the window on a BER week. I've had these in the past, and Xanex dealt with them really well... so well that I never even finished the bottle before they expired. So, instead of giving me something that would solve the problem I have (okay, so Xanex pills are potentially habit-forming, but I explained that I knew that and was very careful with them), she wanted to put me on a regimen of drugs for the next 6-10 months! Let's try something that costs less than $10, and monitor that progress before we throw the baby out with the bathwater!!

Lastly, honestly, I knew what I wanted when I went in. There is so much information out there, that I can make an informed decision without going in to the doctor, yet I have to waste most of the half-hour trying to talk her out of putting me on SSRI's and then being referred to someone else for another appointment for the other half of my questions.

At least the dentist and the eye doctor were more straight forward appointments.

I really would like to go to a doctor that was more holistic... but at the same time I hardly need a doctor. The annual tests and bloodwork are fine, but they take all of 15 minutes. And maybe I would like it for someone else to inform me of what tests I should have done at what times, but since I am mostly well, what do I need it for if all they are going to do is try to put me on meds that I probably do not need? I know what diet and exercise means, and I guess I'd love to have someone who is more of a psychologist and nutritionist than a pharmacist, but then again, I have the luxury of not being sick.

What exactly is preventative medicine other than eating a good diet and exercising?

Love/Hate...

2010-02-03T08:26:00.000-08:00

Some days I hate my job: I stayed in the Owyhee (cowboy spelling for the 50th state) Hotel in Boise instead of going to the actual state of Hawaii this week.

But I love the silver lining: One of the fluffiest, cushiest, pillow filled beds I've ever slept in. Getting up at 6:30 has never been so hard.

Settle Down?

2010-02-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

While this journey across the US has been wonderful in many ways simply because I have been places I never intended to go, and many places I never intend to go back to, there's some definite fun in picking the places that I would go back to. Here's a list of places I deem worthy of a second glance, or a long hard look:

Boston, MA. I could see myself living here or going to school here for a few years. It's definitely joined San Fran on the list of cities I would live if I had to live somewhere other than Seattle.
Portland, OR. Seattle-light is definitely a place I could spend some real time. With all the hipsters, bikers, coffee maniacs, greenpeacers and liberals, it's definitely a city where I could lose myself in becoming eco-friendly and bike every which where. It's flatter than Seattle too, as long as you stay in the river valley, and closer to both the coast and the mountains.
Washington DC. I can almost see myself living here if it wasn't for the constant 60-hour work weeks and subsequent frat-party binging that I witnessed in the short time I was there. It was pretty fun, incredibly beautiful, and really friendly to an active lifestyle... Which I'd need to hold back the liquid calories.
NYC... Oh but to live there for two years: one to get your footing, and the second to actually enjoy it. Only it would cost me more than I would make in 10 years to manage it. At least I can go back to visit.
Portland, ME. I'd love to live here for a year. I know the winters are brutal, but in a way I'd just want to know what it's like to hunker down in one of those adorable little clapboard houses and eat seafood every day down at the local bar with all the crusty folks laughing and carrying on. And I'm dying to go to Maine in the summer.
Phoenix, AZ. Just for the winter is the eternal clause on this one... and NOT in Scottsdale. While I'd live in ME for a winter, I don't think I could handle a Phoenix summer. Maybe I could make it here a year if I just did camping trips all summer up near Sedona and Flagstaff, or really anywhere in the southwest.
Burlington, VT. Hippies, yoga, Whole Foods, Ben & Jerry's, a big beautiful lake, maple syrup, and colleges everywhere... I could definitely spend more time here... Maybe even go to school here.
Charlottesville, VA. I'd LOVE to go to school at UVA, at least for a little while. This is just an adorable town with a nice vibe. Plus, TJ designed it.
Charleston, SC. I could vacation here for a while... the slow, southern pace just makes it really peaceful. And I feel like there was so much more outside of the actual city that one could see. Savannah, GA is pretty much the same... but I liked Charleston more.
Salt Lake City, UT. I want to go snowboarding out of here so badly it hurts.
Rapid City, SD. Driving through the Badlands and surrounding areas rather than flying over them would be spectacular.
Miami, FL. This city is just a riot of color, "culture," and craziness. I'd love to spend a longer weekend on South Beach, when it's not thunderstorming.

And probably many many more... Does anyone else have a fave I've left off this list? This isn't completely comprehensive--it's just the places I've visited for my job and on stayovers (keep in mind I haven't been to California yet. Nor have I been to Arkansas or Oklahoma...). What have I forgotten?

Southern Living

2010-02-02T13:06:00.000-08:00

Savannah, GA has been on my short list of places to go for a while now. Last year, I spent a weekend in it’s sister city, Charleston, SC and had a fabulous time. This year, I found myself ending a week in Columbia, SC and I sent out a missive seeing if anyone else could make it. When all was said and done, Heather was the only other PM able to come, but we made the most of it.
I drove in from Columbia and had the chance to cruise around checking out Savannah before Heather landed. Just in case you were wondering, driving around the most haunted city in America on a night with not only a full moon, but the largest, brightest full moon of the year is not the best idea to get yourself ready to go out alone. I ended up spooked by the Spanish moss hanging from the trees, terrified by the creepy statues, and shaken by the crumbling architecture. I ate some groceries in my room and drank some wine with my chocolate to wind down from freaking myself out. (Evidently I scare easily). Heather arrived and we shared some bubbly at her suggestion and gabbed about BER and life in general. Soon enough, we crashed into our beds (one of the best beds I’ve slept on in ages… it was one of those bowling-ball mattresses!) and were up in time for the Krispy Kreme and coffee breakfast.
We picked up a rental car since the weather was not cooperating and then headed off to the downtown area. Paula Dean’s was our first stop. Lady and Sons has a southern buffet lunch, and DAMN. I ate so much, and drank so much sweet tea I really did think I was going to explode. I don’t want to think about how many calories I consumed (weekend stayovers don’t count anyways!).

We tried to walk it off, and ended up going into some fun shops and found ourselves at the Juliet Gordon Lowe house. We both felt a little nostalgic for our girl scout days since JGL was the founder of the girl scouts and the house was overrun with little brownies and juniors in their uniforms. I was tempted to buy the pin you can wear on your vest, but decided I’ve passed that stage of my life. We drove around some more to see the cool old architecture (the drizzle and cold simply prevented us from actually enjoying walking). We walked around the cemetery in the daylight (I was definitely not that interested in a ghost tour at this point, especially with how cold it was!), and did try to hit up a brewery for dinner, even if we could barely manage to finish half of the nachos we ordered to share. We got up to leave, gave up our prime location, and in walk the first cute guys we’d seen the whole time in the bar. Shrugging, we gave up and went back for more wine, trashy TV, and oh-so-comfy beds.
Sunday morning we went for a frigidly cold run in Forsyth Park, where my minimalist shoes and running style seemed to hold up remarkably well, even if our fingers never actually warmed up. Then we were off to the airport and I was off to Phoenix. I could wish that the weather had been better, or that more people had been able to come so that going out would have been more fun, but really, all in all it was a great time in a great city.

Report Carding for Groundhog's Day

2010-02-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

So I tend to forget about new years resolutions just as fast as the next person. So I'm going to give y'all an accountibility/update post on this so that I keep going. So how am I doing?

Floss Daily: C+
Take Vitamins Daily: A-
Drink Less Soda: B

Notes: Flossing is still eluding me... I started off strong and now it's right back to twice a week. Maybe I'll try aiming for the AM rather than the PM. Daily means counting Saturdays too, which is proving tricky for my vitamin intake. Lastly, I'm trying to allow myself only one Diet Coke a week, but I'm cheating by drinking ginger ale on planes which probably counts as soda...

I'm also really excited by my running, and am planning to focus on that as part of the new month. I went for a run in Savannah this weekend with Heather, and found that running outside (even in really cold weather) is not so bad in my "minimalist" shoes. I'm definitely capable of 2 miles straight in the shoes, and want to try eeking it up to three soon (anyone know of/want to do a valentine's/president's day 5K?). The big goal of running a 5m/8K race in under 45" still lingers... maybe by May's Beat the Bridge. If only my schedule will allow this year...

Before the Boarding Door Closes

2010-02-01T16:44:00.001-08:00

Ahhh... On board a plane headed to Portland. I am ecstatic to be heading to the northwest and even more excited to be healthy this time. No more passing up the beer and wine on my horizon flights due to being knocked out on Nyquill like last year! No more being reduced to heinously brewed starbucks coffee at my hotel! Hipsters and hippies everywhere! Time to visit Powells books and get stumptown!

It's the little things that make me happy.

Barefoot Running

2010-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

With my quest to become a perfect packer athletic shoes became one of the first big questions. How does one escape the confines of bulky running shoes without going out and buying something brand new? Over the last few months I’ve been finding myself reading a lot of articles about running barefoot, and while in Austin, I found myself running behind a girl wearing crazy-looking minimalist shoes at the2.5 mile fun run Kirsten and I were doing. I had to find out more…

The basic premise of barefoot running is that the over-cushioning effect of specially designed running shoes actually promotes injury because the muscles of the legs and feet no longer have to work to stabilize a runner’s body. I am particularly drawn to the idea due to my biology background. Think about it, humans have been running and walking for millennia without Nikes, and it has really only been in the last 30 years that the athletic shoe has really come into popular usage. Any industry is created out of a perceived “lack,” and the athletic shoe industry filled the niche created by the idea that more cushioning and specific support features (like an anti-pronation, rigid part of the sole) would reduce injury and realign the body of a runner. However, recent studies and a not-so underground movement have come out suggesting that running shoes might produce the exact opposite results.

Vibram Five Fingers Classic minamalist shoes

Running barefoot, without any kind of protection between my feet and concrete (or the nasty hotel treadmills), doesn’t really appeal to me, but that is why the market has created things like callous shoes. Basically these odd-looking rubber gloves for your allow your feet and leg muscles to stabilize and engage fully as if you were running barefoot, while providing a barrier between your delicate 21st century soles and the surface you’re running on. Give the market any kind of lack, and it will produce a $75+ product for your consumption.

Not being interested in throwing down serious cash on a whim, I pulled out my own version to assist in my packing lighter endeavors and to give this a shot. These little Nike mary-jane sneakers have been in my closet for ages. The soles are thin and unsupportive, and I’d added some superfeet insoles to provide a little more of a transitional cushioning and support. I would not really be running barefoot, and if the running proved to be uncomfortable, using an elliptical machine or stationary bike should still be comfortable with the support of the insoles. I chickened out and used the elliptical for most of the first week on the road, and then on Friday I tried out a treadmill.

my version of minimalism

Immediately I could feel the difference. I quickly switched from the usual heel-toe foot pattern of jogging to landing with the ball of my foot and then my heel. I also felt like running faster than I had with my Asics (although generally I am a much slower treadmill runner than road runner in general, I was up 0.5mph on my average speed by the end of the half hour workout, and this speed increase has been consistent over additional workouts).

Most interestingly, I could feel my body in a way I never had running previously. Side-to-side movement has always made treadmill running tricky for me, but as I felt my body more acutely, I was able to run straighter. I felt a distinct misalignment in my hips, as if one leg were longer than the other. I got of the treadmill and stretched my hips until the alignment felt right, and I could clearly feel when it was right. It was almost a yogic experience, because my muscles were so awakened by the new technique and my mind was so focused on noticing the differences. Post-workout, I was intensely sore in a way running never makes me sore. I had run 2.5 miles, adding in a little slight incline at times, but it was nothing more strenuous than what I had done in both Austin and in Seattle over break. The Asics have not made it back into my suitcase since then.

Now for the disclaimers: I only run on average 1-2 miles when I get on a treadmill so I can imagine that running or training for longer distances would be a completely different can of worms. There still needs to be more long-term studies on this technique, especially considering the long-term high-impact effect on joints. But for me, this is amazing. I love the meditative quality of feeling my body react, and since I’m running on a relatively low-impact surface for short distances for only a few more months, I don’t suspect I’ll have any dire long-term complications.

Has anyone else heard of this new running theory? Anyone else trying it with success? Should I stop this little experiment and either stick to the elliptical or throw the real running shoes back in my suitcase? Or have the shoe companies just found another way to potentially sell you a new product?

It's a Love/---- Relationship

2010-01-27T08:25:00.000-08:00

I've been too down on my job lately. Part of it is the ever-changing state of the economy and how that has impacted life working for BER. The thing is, this job is only horrible if you can't find the shining moments you get every day.I am out on the road with a presenter who most PM's are not fond of, yet by sheer force of will I had a great time with last year. She's a ton of fun, but since she's a little more high strung and from Jersey, she can come off abrupt and rude. Plus, she's on the more high-maintenance side of the presenter spectrum, so you have to learn to expect the little requests without feeling miffed. Luckily this week I have a lot more energy than last week, and we're in great places. Last night we were in Charlottesville, one of my FAVE small towns I've been to, and after the seminar we dashed up for the last tour of Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's house. EEEE! I was so happy to get to see it since I've been forced to drive past the signs about 4 times last year. Then, as it was about 5pm, we went back to main street in Charlottesville for dinner at a tasty french bistro. This was after supping at Hamilton's the night before, the restaurant we had found last year on our trip to Charlottesville together. Two dinners in my favorite town?! YES please!!These are times when I love my job.

My Two Cents

2010-01-25T19:17:00.001-08:00

Turns out, I not only do a better job, but I like my job a lot more when I have over thrity participants now. Either I need the slight challange to get in the groove, or waking up at 6am for 10 people is just depresing.

Charlottesville, VA is a small town I could spend some time in. Good food, good shops, good history. What more does a place need?

Beignets in NOLA

2010-01-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

A weekend in the French Quarter… C’est ci bon!
We dined on beignets and fried foods every day, putting our digestive needs on hold for a long weekend, reveling in the excesses of a city of excess—po’boys, oysters, gumbo, red beans and rice, fried everything, and a couple of hurricanes and bottles of champagne. I pulled out my feathered headband for our night on Burbon Street, and enjoyed the crazy as much as I could, although one night was more than enough for me. We had our eyes on some guys, but they turned out to be trapped playing a gig for a private frat party that we were less than interested in attempting to crash. Krista, Kirsten, and I stayed in a fairly lux room at the Westin (thank you hotwire!), reveling in our plush bathrobes and swapping out who got to sleep alone for each of the three nights. We slept long hours in the daylight, wandered miles throughout the Quarter and Garden districts, and ogled the amazing architecture surrounding us. The weather was decent, giving way to a lovely afternoon on Monday when I went to just sit by the river watching people walk by and boats float up and down the Mississippi.But best of all, I got to leave my tech case at my hotel in Northern Virginia, as I ended there Friday and started my next week in the same location. It was nice to travel like a normal human being, although I had one southern guy comment on my carry-on sized suitcase, “I don’t know how you can fit everything for 3-4 whole days in something that small.” To which I replied, “3-4 days? This is two weeks’ worth.”

Master packer status: Achieved.

Circadian Rhythms

2010-01-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

Life moves in cycles. A high energy week gives birth to lots of blog posts, creating new hobbies like "perfectionist packing," and coming up with exciting activities along the road. Those weeks usually give way to great weekends, then onwards to horrifically exhausted weeks. This is one of those weeks.

NOLA was a blast (and maybe I'll manage some real content on it in a day or so), but this week I'm crashing at 9:30pm and crawling out of bed at 6:45am. We have two crappy hotels this week too, which makes life just all the more depressing after the FABULOUS Westin in NOLA (yay hotwire!). My presenter has made it known that she likes finding fun things along the way, but there's just no way I want to "find" anything for her. Two reasons: 1. Pure exhaustion on my part and 2. She's about as interesting as a doorknob and has made some vaguely racist/classist comments. Basically, coming off of last week were I had a real connection with my presenter and had an amazing time, I'm just not interested in putting in any more time and effort with this lady than I have to. So it's time to get dinner alone, curl up with a good book, and recoup some of my introvert energies.

P.S. Yay for Tom Robbins and the ubiquity of book stores on the road. I'm only 10 pages into "Jitterbug Perfume" and I'm already amused.

Connections

2010-01-13T08:22:00.000-08:00

Natural disasters happen every year, and while some are larger than others, they all impact people's lives. The 7.0 earthquake that happened yesterday in Haiti hit a bit close to home for me... One of my friends was in Haiti on a humanitarian vacation, working with children of the impoverished country. She was on the top floor of her building when the earthquake hit, and was luckily pulled out of the rubble after the building collapsed, suffering only broken bones and bruises (thank god for Facebook that I can know all of this only a day later!). Yet, there are thousands more that need rescuing and emergency health care, thousands more who have died or are dying, and once the immediate triage has been completed, there is still the matter of rebuilding a desperately poor country.

This tragedy has hit me as something that I both can and must help with. I encourage anyone who can to donate to the American Red Cross or any other organization to help with the cause(here is a list of 7 reputable charities), because, as another friend has pointed out, prayers do not set up relief centers, provide drinking water, or rebuild homes and hospitals.

A Quick Stop For History

2010-01-12T10:11:00.000-08:00

My Philly hotel was right by Valley Forge National Park and we had a short drive yesterday, so my presenter and I went to check it out:Inside Washington Memorial Chapel.

Some replica huts like the ones the soldiers stayed in during their winter encampment. Our wonderful guide assured us, no one died by freezing in these--they are quite cozy.

Washington's headquarters. Looks posh, but the guide assured us, it was much colder (before central heating was installed in the 1930's) than the cabins. It's the actual building he rented during the winter encampment. The kitchens and stables attached to the house are still standing as well!

It's great when I get a chance to actually take advantage of being in places I'd never go otherwise. Once we arrived in Bethlehem, Kathleen and I had a great dinner at Bethlehem Brew Works (as per Kelly's suggestion via the BER food blog), another great place that I'd never have known about before. We're off tonight to drive up into the hills (don't call them mountains) of Pennsylvania.

Oh, and I got almost 8 hours of sleep last night... Go me!

Hitting the BER Wall

2010-01-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

Five more months...

It's a long time when you think about it. The problem that one runs into with working a crazy schedule like mine is complete and utter burn out. Sleep deprivation kicks in, time zone changes start wearing on you, and the sight of one more pathetic hotel breakfast buffet turns your stomach. I was ready to get back on the road again after the holidays, but for whatever reason, I didn't ever manage to adjust to the central time zone. Six hours of sleep a night was a good day, and soon enough I was living on caffeine. I can manage this lifestyle for a week, but that's the limit. I need to find a way to make it through to the end while being able to enjoy myself still.

The worst part of all of it though is the pressure of weekends. When I'm home, I want to do everything. I want to go to yoga, I need to get my laundry done, I want to see friends, I want to get my hair cut by my favorite stylist, I need to repack, I want to repack oh so perfectly, I want to go out and have a beer for a friend's birthday. But instead I tend to mess it up--the haircut appointment, arriving too late for a class, falling asleep suddenly (for once) at the most inopportune moment after flopping down on my bed for 5 minutes.

Having two lives is ridiculous, yet that's what I've got. I have on-the-road me, who simply lives out of a suitcase and deals with the same routine day to day, splashing in some fun little excitements as much as I can along the way. Then there is at-home me, who really just wants to relax, but has all of the minutia of a real life to deal with: opening mail, doing laundry, running errands, renewing car tabs, seeing people I don't get to see regularly any more... etc. etc.

It's almost more exhausting being home than being on the road. This wouldn't be the case if I didn't have to fly trans-continental every single time I came home. But even when I fly to Chicago or Texas, I end up leaving before 11:30am on Sunday. Luckily, this next weekend I'm in New Orleans, and while that doesn't sound like a restful weekend to some... it's going to be full of long, sleeping-in-all-day mornings since we have three whole days to play and a swanky hotel to live it up in. AND I'm not going to lose three hours and gain them back again. I might swap one hour back and forth, but that's nothing. This is why stayovers are crucial to my life, and yet a hindrance to it. The following weekend, I get to pray that my car passes an emission test so that the tabs can be renewed, since this is the only time I can get to it.

It's an interesting life, and one that you have to be prepared to plan ahead for. Luckily, I'm looking forward to finishing up in May and starting out anew on a path to figure out what will come my way.

Fashion From a Small Suitcase

2010-01-11T06:42:00.000-08:00

With my extremely cramped packing job this last week, I had a limited work wardrobe, yet managed to have three different looks in total, plus my typical traveling outfit of jeans, t-shirt, and cardigan. This is why I love dresses so much and pack them when I’m trying to be really simple. The pink and black dress is jersey and supremely comfortable while the black and white check dress has more flair and fun (thank you Target!) and works perfectly with layering, either underneath or over the top. I utilized my growing headband collection to keep my shaggy hair out of the way until I could get it cut. It turns out that cutting my hair short has caused multiple presenters to comment on my “great style.” In truth, my clothes are not much different from last year, but I think having a style other than long straight hair pulled back in a ponytail is giving the outfits an edge.

Speaking of haircuts, I managed to botch my haircut appointment this weekend, again! I’d blown it over Christmas break by forgetting to book the appointment 3 weeks out, and then discovering my hairstylist at Ten Pachi was on vacation the whole week after Christmas, exactly when I needed the cut anyways. So I attempted to book an appointment for this Saturday, January 9^th. Only something happened with my booking (undoubtedly my stupid mistake) and I booked it for January 12^th, a day when I’ll be somewhere in Pennsylvania. So I had to find a new appointment to tame the shaggy monster on my head and ended up at the AVEDA institute in Capital hill, where I got a really decent cut for almost nothing! However, I have booked myself an appointment with Rosie at Ten Pachi for the February break (5 weeks ahead) and have plans on searching for one of those haircutting razors to be able to take some of the bulk out of the back of my hair as it grows out over a 6 week cycle. Oh the things one does to have short hair…I miss the ponytails that I used to have, and their ease for working out especially since fan around-the-head headband doesn’t work for my haircut because it’s so short in the back. Last week I was working out with my sparkly rhinestone headband… I got some funny looks. One of these days I’ll start growing it out, but for now I really like it.The gorillapod is definitely fun to work with. Although I’ve gotten some funny looks from people as I set up the pink, bubble-shaped camera stand and then run over to stand with a stupid look on my face and a hand on my hip, it’s made taking these pictures super easy (even if I did crop out my shoes in one of the photos...).

It's a Love/Hate Relationship

2010-01-09T10:41:00.001-08:00

I love my job when everything just flows: my packing is just right, I have a direct flight and get to talk to a fun person, and the routine becomes a comfortable and reliable rhythm in my life.

I hate my job when every other aspect of my real life gets submerged: haircut appointments become hard to manage, doctors appointments are impossible to get to before February, and the simplest basic scheduling issues on a weekend become semi-catastrophic because I'm only in town 36hours.

...but I'm going to great places soon enough: Allentown, DC, NOLA... And I'll be back to a normal life by July. Gotta enjoy the crazy while it's here.

A Penny for Your Thoughts

2010-01-08T12:05:00.001-08:00

Commenters, solve my moral conundrum:

If I resolved to drink less soda a week ago, will I potentially put myself on the road to ruin by treating myself to a can of diet coke today on my flight?

Packing it Away

2010-01-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

I like to think that over the last year and a half, I've become a pretty good packer. I tested myself this week, and still want to find a way to get my bags lighter. I'm on a 4-day week out-and-back, so my challenge to myself was to travel with only my small work carryon bag and not bring an additional suitcase for my clothes and sundries. I think I managed it quite well, and because I know you're DYING to know... I'll map it out for you.

The Bag:A Swiss Army rolling briefcase with 4 compartments, purchased at Costco last year at the start of my BER adventure.

The Work Stuff:
Ahhh, yes. The tech case. The 48.5lb object between me a complete carry-on heaven.

The traveling office:My file folder contains all my registration and paperwork paraphenaila while the pencil case carries the various office materials one needs whether one is in Seattle or Mobile, AL (the stapler is a fave with TSA, to some agents it resembles a box cutter). Then there is all of the GPS electronics. In order to streamline, I put the pencil case in the tech case (now at 48.75lbs...) and put the file folder in it's usual place: the second compartment of the briefcase. The GPS cables found themselves a home in the front pocket (hereby dubbed the "cord pocket") of the briefcase while Rita herself went in a pocket of my purse for easy access.

Pocket-by-Pocket:The cord pocket--GPS cords, iPhone USB cord, AUX adapter cord for car stereo, netbook charge cord, knitting bag with NZ yarn scarf-in-progress, liquids ziplock. File folder pocket--the file folder (surprise!).

The laptop pocket (sans laptop thanks to the netbook!)--workout clothes, dirty laundry, "solids" toiletry bag, makeup bag, snack items (oatmeal and almonds). The main clothing pocket--the Wardrobe.

And what clothes does one pack for a 4-day stint where the warmest temperature is a balmy 45degrees? The following:

Work clothes:

Black and white check dress
Pink and black jersey dress
Black & grey cardigans
Black & grey tights
Red & black belt
Report wedges

Other clothes:

AE boyfriend jeans
Bonjour T-shirt and white tank top
White turtleneck
Green sneakers (workout shoe substitute attempt)
Sleep/workout T-shirt and workout capris
Yoga Socks (whee!)
Scarf and Coat
Various undergarments, socks, and whatnot

And then...

The Purse:
This I think I need to find ways to cut back on... I have a book, my moleskine, a magazine, my netbook, my knitting bag, and my phone to provide entertainment. The camera and tripod to document my travels. Wallet, pens, nail file and clippers, lipgloss, lotion bar, sunglasses, gloves, plastic silverware, meds, and vitamins. My coffee mug (a must have). My home keys (and rental car keys when applicable) and GPS. Once you have a huge purse like this, it tends to get filled...whether you need it or not, so I have to clear it out rather often.

Anyways, that's about it. I know you were on the edge of your seat waiting to find out how I do it. The real challenge will be seeing if I can do it again, in variaton for the next stint--two weeks out with a NOLA weekend in the middle. I want to get everything in my regular 21" suitcase, which I can carry on.

Dreams From a Different Bed

2010-01-06T08:11:00.000-08:00

Sleeping in a different bed every night has it's effects, often in the form of crazy dreams. As most of you know, I've always been a rather... vivid dreamer. My imagination and subconscious seems to manage a rather convoluted set of highly justified and semi-plausible situations when I'm sleeping. I've had my fair set of BER dreams as well, with crazy registration table dramas or AV equipment malfunctions set to absurd levels. Usually these come when I'm more stressed out--before or after a large number day, when the travel logistics are more difficult than normal, or when my life just seems to be getting in the way of day to day activities.

I feel like I should be sharing some of these while I'm still having them. I had a particularly vivid dream, or rather nightmare, last night that I remember in full. Just a warning: it's definitely kind of a downer. It went like this:

I awake (in the dream) and pry my eyes apart, sighing to myself for sleeping in my contacts on a plane again. I have a full, 3-seat row on a wide body plane (3-5-3 seat configuration, one of those typical details that my brain finds so important to note) to myself and have been curled up resting. My parents and my sister are in the rows across the aisle from me. Slowly I realize that the plane's trajectory is off... We are listing heavily to the side at one moment, then jarred back to an awkward leveling off. In the dream I pull back and see the flaps of the plane, which are clearly wrong--sticking out at very weird and contradictory angles. The pilot comes on and explains, "Our navigation system appears to be malfunctioning. We are working to fix it as fast as we can. The fasten seatbelt sign has been turned on. Please return to your seats and fasten your seat belts" (Yes, I dream in airplane speak now.)

It is clear that the plane is on course to crash, soon. I remain calm, as do all of the other passengers (This is when I can tell that I am dreaming. I consciously choose to stay calm, as it is a dream, yet even then my stomach is sinking). After rocking and rolling through the flight, the risk of crashing is imminent and my stomach is rising up into my throat with fear yet my mind remains clear and calm, when suddenly everything comes back online and the plane rights itself. The passengers all begin to clap when the captain comes back on the speaker, "I need everyone to remain in their seats. ...please stop clapping... [the clapping continues] No, really, stop clapping!! [the clapping increases] YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND."

The cabin lights flash and turn to a dark-room red, as the flight attendants run down the aisles and stop in spaced-out points along the plane. The captain comes back on, "There is a terrorist act happening on this plane as we speak." The deafening applause abruptly stops as the plane starts the same turbulent movement it was experiencing before. I force myself to wake up.

The worst part of it all is that as I was laying in bed at 1:30am, I knew that I had to get on a plane this afternoon. I'm not afraid of planes, but sometimes dreams feel so real, they almost seem like a premonition. Luckily, I'm flying on regional jets today (2x2's, yay?) without my family so it can't be a psychic moment. It still took me a while to fall asleep again. Hooray for iPhone solitaire for calming my nerves!

Resolved

2010-01-01T13:25:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve this year was great: I got to hang out with a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while and we had some low-key fun. Pies&Pints for dinner, tasty drinks, watching the fireworks on Jeff's gigantic big screen TV, Wii, Star Trek, party poppers, my sparkly headband and fleecy pants, and cake. That is my idea of a good time. Then starting the year off right: Herkimer, steel-cut oatmeal, and magically figuring out how to transfer my music to my new netbook.

Yes, that's right, my new netbook. I've been tinkering with the idea for a while now, and at a post christmas sale I went for it. The amount of ease it will add to my traveling should completely justify it. The lil'cutie is shiny, and tiny, and lighter than air! I picked it up the first time and almost threw it across the room because it weighed so little. (A part of me wanted to throw it across the room, because it is a PC, but I restrained my Mac sensibilities just this once.) It's been strange operating with two computers all the time, but it's fun feeling super techy with a stack of technology in front of me (mac, netbook, and iphone... it's like little computer Russian dolls).

Because I am resolved, on many levels, to make this year a good year. I started it off with my Christmas wish list, and the wonderful Mom who gave me what I wanted: The Joby Gorillapod Camera Tripod (better fashion photos await!), and yoga socks (which my sister insisted were "too weird" for her to purchase for me). These little, lightweight goodies along with my netbook should make the next 4-5 months more bearable.

Anyways, other than resolving to make my life easier with fancy new travel gizmos, I have three short, sweet, and purposeful resolutions that don't add to my baggage.

1. Take vitamins, because being sick 3 times in the course of 3 months suggests a vitamin C deficiency.

2. Floss. More than 2x a year.

3. Go on a soda hiatus, because 3 diet cokes in one day is too many.

Absurdly, I already blew it with these. I thought I had decided on three, but I couldn't remember one. So I assumed I had decided on two when I wrote them down on NYE. Then today, the crashing realization hit me... VITAMINS!! Probably the most important one, being as how it is the most likely to make me stop being sick constantly and thereby improve my quality of life drastically, yet it slipped my mind. Way to go me.

I want to make this the Year without Fear--the fear of getting sick, the fear of the dentist, the fear of my back going out from all my heavy luggage... and a few other more metaphysical things. We'll get around to that later. Right now, it's all about starting it off on the right foot.

A Christmas Carol

2009-12-29T18:20:00.000-08:00

Ho Ho Ho...

Okay, screw it. I'll tell it to you straight: I ~~hate~~ have a fairly negative history with Christmas.

From being the adorable 2-year-old given a tiny-sized softball mitt and squishy ball, only to burst into tears and exclaim, "I don't even know what it is!" to the young adult dressing up as a goth for a practical joke/spiteful statement for my dad's side of the family (in particular my grandmother), I've often been a bit of a brat on this particular day. Every year I am a huge grinch... but I realize that being a spoilsport isn't much fun. So I've been working on my attitude and those reflex reactions that come out of nowhere to make the social constructs of Christmas more fun for myself and those around me.

I feel like putting some of this together as a way to explain why I probably will never have a collection of Christmas music or your typical giddiness as the day approaches.

Christmas Past:

Not to complain (as I realize that my attitude is mostly my reaction to situations, not from any particular person or cause), but rather to explain I'll ask the question: "Where did all of this grinching come from?"
After reflection I've decided it probably something to do with the pressure of being one of the oldest kids out of both sides of my family, the first girl (on both sides), and the total attention of waaay to many adults after being dragged around without a nap for days on end. While I've been an attention whore my whole life, something about those preliminary years definitely affected me:

As I grew up, I (young, sugar-charged, and sleep deprived) was asked to babysit and organize my younger, equally sugar-charged, sleep-deprived cousins into family Christmas pageants every year upon our arrival at grandma's, which my perfectionist nature made into much more traumatic experiences than necessary. Add in many many years worth of this constant self-inflicted pressure, my grandmother's eternal need to create drama out of nowhere, complicated relationships between my parents and other relatives, one year's explosive expletive-filled expulsion from the Hughes-family festivities, and a growing sarcastic nature and this is what you get:
Christmas Present:

A smile on my face? Me, wearing a red Christmas sweater dress? Is this really even possible?
Evidently it is. If...

I just do all my shopping online a few weeks ahead except for a few projects I can knit up on planes and a couple of little things to pick up in the last week. And then I avoid all Christmas things, even on the road where decorations and constant music are ubiquitous. Perhaps I get sick with an intense cold, and spend a couple of days on the couch, knitting and avoiding food prep (especially the exhausting cookie making). Then, on Christmas Eve, I regain my strength, finish my shopping, wrap everything, and help with the prep for dinner. Christmas day, I manage to nap a bit, work on the set up for the second party in two days, and focus on the constant clean-up and moving along of the festivities while my house is besieged by 20 other people. I make sure that the white elephant gift exchange has written rules and take control so that it moves along as quickly as possible, making it possible for everyone to leave by 9:30pm. Then I give up and escape at around 10:30pm, when a few of my cousins start clunking out "heart and soul" on the piano over, and over, and over... directly above my bedroom, and then continue for another hour.If I can still have a smile on my face after all that... I can manage Christmas.

Christmas Future:

I can remember one time in my 25 Christmases where I understood the Christmas spirit and enjoyed my family and everything about the holiday. That was the year where my immediate family was traveling in the Southwest--touring about about in an RV from Phoenix to Santa Fe (where we spent Christmas itself) and onwards to Monument Valley, Chaco Canyon, and the Grand Canyon.

So my ideal Chirstmas wish is to eventually re-create this holiday escape... I'd love to spend the holiday in a snowy place like New England, or in a German or French town with Christmas markets, somewhere warm for a tropical Christmas in sundresses, or even just escaping to a cabin by the Washington Coast or in the San Jauns. Somewhere new every other year... away from all of the traditions that make me feel the triggers of the past.But we always have to have a Big Freakin Tree.

Photo Crazed

2009-12-17T07:00:00.000-08:00

So, every once in a while my days get easier. These two-day seminars I've had this week are probably the best thing that's ever happened on this job. Two days in a hotel... Two days in a city... Every other night without travel... Seriously. This is what I think of as the height of luxury.

So I'm posting photos to my flickr page. I get really bad about doing this on a regular basis. Also, I realize that my first couple blocks of photos to put up are all from July... (Fairbanks! Wallace Falls Hike!) and it will continue all the way through to yesterday's adventure to the St Louis Gateway arch. The hotel connection can only move so fast, and I have a few things I want to get to today in St. Louis before flying out (perhaps a photo at the airport a la George Clooney?!?!), so we'll see how far I can get.

I have a lot of time ahead of me over break though, and while much of it will be filled with friends, family, and holiday fun, I'm going to need to find things to fill the time. Once I catch up with sleep that is... Anyone who's going to be in Seattle should let me know when they are free for fun little adventures!

Before the Boarding Door Closes

2009-12-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

Thoughts before boarding in O'Hare:

Today was not the day to mess with me. I have a short fuse after being super exhausted (which no amount of sleeping 12 hours a day seems to fix), and having a lack of hot water in the morning and a heating system in my hotel banquet room on the fritz (for the second day, after they insisted it was working) definitely did not help. Don't ignore my 50th plea to fix the thermostat. Don't take 15 minutes to get to my request every time I ask while you insist you must lock me out of being able to touch the damn thing. Don't get defensive when I point out that a 30 second adjustment is all I'm asking for. Because you will pay for it with a verbal tounge-lashing resulting in me getting my way.
I don't throw the hissy very often, but turns out it works. Like gangbusters.
I still don't really get Chicago.
I still don't get how people SUCK at going through security. Really, you had 15 minutes in line and you're just NOW emptying your pockets? Put it in your laptop bag, your coat pocket, a pocket on your rolling bag. Take out your laptop and hold it so you can put it straight in the bin. Untie your shoes if you're not wearing slip ons already. Take off your coat. Pull out your liquid ziplock. If there's no line, take your time... but with a 15+ minute line, you owe it to everyone else to figure it the hell out.
Did I mention I'm grouchy today?
Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch Grouch
Why won't people who clearly have been removed from my life stay removed? Not helping my grouchy day, buddy.
They should have left this place an orchard.
I'M COMING HOME FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS IN TWO DAYS OH THANK GOD FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!

In-N-Out, or Furthering the Fast Food Agenda

2009-12-11T17:29:00.000-08:00

What does one do when a 7pm flight gets delayed even further? Go to the airport at 4pm like normal? No. Not in Phoenix.

In the vein of my Chick-Fil-A epiphany, I made a bee-line straight for In-N-Out burger in Tempe by the ASU campus (thanks to MJC's awesome directions :)). Definitely still just fast food, but the fries alone made it worth it. The freshness was definitely a startling discovery... especially watching someone make fries from POTATOES. Who would have thunk it? Really, it was more fun to be able to say I finally ate at In-N-Out than anything else, but it made me giddy all the same.

Then I was off to Popagano park to wander around. I found out the Botanical Gardens were there, and headed over only to find that they were closed early for a luminaria display tonight... that started at 5:30, exactly when I needed to be dropping off my rental car. I glanced through the gates though, and was sad I had to miss it. The cashier directed me to walk up to Hole in the Wall trail, and so I did. I watched most of the sunset from this glorious rock formation, before heading back to the airport.

It's days like this, when I've ditched my presenter (even if they're a great one) and have some time to myself that make me so happy and remind me why I have this job.

It's A Love/Hate Relationship...

2009-12-10T12:55:00.000-08:00

I hate it when Southwest jumbles our flights, saying we need to take the later connection, booking us on it, then urging us to make the earlier flight we were originally booked on, and finally, puts our bags on the later flight meaning we had to return to the airport to pick up all of our baggage once the next flight lands.

I love it when I walk out of the airport and see that my hotel is directly across a smallish parking lot, meaning that I'm going to earn a $50 voucher for walking less than 0.25 miles back to the airport about 75 minutes later.

Recipe for Greatness

2009-12-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

Here's a sign you've been on the road too long:

I make non-instant oatmeal in a coffee pot.

Upon discovering that microwaving oatmeal ends up in overflowing water and oats in your microwave, I put the oats in the coffee pot and let the hot water and burner do the trick on it's own. It takes a little longer than the directions insist, but it's also way, WAY better than instant.

How you ask?

Step 1:

Buy good oatmeal. I got the old-fashioned oatmeal from whole foods. It's supposed to cook in about 4 minutes. I suspect that if you want to start the oatmeal early enough you could even cook steel cut oats in this method. Just make sure your coffee pot doesn't turn off automatically too soon. Get something that has good flavor but cooks reasonably fast.

Step 2:

Measuring is all about proportions. Look at the directions provided and come up with a ratio. 1:1, 1:1.5, 1:2? Now just use your hotel provided coffee mugs and work the proportion. Fill the cup halfway (remember, the oats will expand), and then add the corresponding amount of water--a half cup, three-quarters cup, or full cup (or whatever). You don't have to be exact with this, but err on the more water side for less chewy oatmeal.

Step 3:

Put oats in the carafe part of the coffee maker, then add the water to the water part. MAKE SURE there is no coffee in the basket (unless you like coffee-flavored oatmeal, which could be interesting...). Just to be sure sometimes I run a full pot of water through to clean out the inner workings. Turn on the coffee pot and let the water percolate.

Step 4:

Periodically check and stir oatmeal. Usually I let it sit on the burner for about 5-10 minutes. This helps keep the hot water heated while the oats absorb it and boils off the excess water. You can always tip out water from the oats at this point if the ratios are off. Stir it so that you don't burn the oatmeal too badly to the bottom of the carafe.

Step 5:

Eat! I've found that honey makes a great sweetener if you need it, and you can always add mini-moo's if you need a creamy texture. Just realize that a packet of oatmeal and a bear of honey packed next to each other evidently look a lot like a bomb in a checked bag... Silly TSA.

You're not done though!

Step 6:

Fill the carafe with water and let it soak. This way, any oatmeal that has stuck to the bottom will be easily removed. Then, use a washcloth to wipe it out, or leave a bigger than normal tip for the maid.

Acceptable Fast Food

2009-12-08T10:46:00.000-08:00

I've always been a Wendy's proponent... a small chili, side salad, and a frosty is my go-to when I have to resort to fast food. It's honestly one of the few things I can get from the standard chains which include everything from Applebees and Cracker Barrel to TGI Fridays and Bob Evans. I have constantly turned up my nose at many fast food options that I'm unfamiliar with, including Chick-fil-A.

For you west coasters, this franchise is ubiquitous throughout the midwest and the south. It's in malls, airports, free standing restaurants, and roadside plazas. I see teachers in certain areas coming in with their breakfast bags from Chick-fil-A rather than McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts. Yet, I had avoided it like the plague. The oddly anti-french spelling of the chain, it's popularity with teachers, and the general fast-food nature of it scared me away. Turns out, it's actually one of the best options out there when you're in a crunch and don't want Panera.

I had a wrap--it was grilled chicken, non-iceburg lettuce, tomatoes, carrot shreds, cabbage, and a little cheese wrapped in a multi-grain flatbread. It was simple food at it's best, and it felt decently healthy... although at 410 calories and 12 grams of fat, that certainly wasn't actually the case. Is it strange to anyone else that "grilled" chicken can actually be fattier than fried? Or that flatbread wraps are worse than buns?

The good news was that it tasted pretty darn good, and filled me up. So maybe my prejudices against certain chains need to end.

Before the Boarding Door Closes

2009-12-07T16:12:00.001-08:00

Flights in and out of Orlando have the highest population of children I have ever seen. Thank God I have a drink coupon for Southwest.

Picking up a Familiar State... Florida

2009-12-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

Spending an extended amount of time in the Orlando airport is never a good idea. There are so many swealing, sugar and junk-food filled, mickey mouse eared youngsters running around it's mind boggling. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Notice the crazy pink castle-hotel in the distant background? Yah, that's Miami for you.

My weekend was spent in the wonderful sauna that is Miami. After being in the Northeast all last week, it was an amazing refresher to walk out of the airport into the constant steam bath. We were pretty lazy about things, and I have got to go back to Miami because it really is amazing, but it definitely made an impression. The high rises everywhere, the Hummers littering the streets, the number of kosher and mid-eastern restaurants, the sheer number of jewish people, and when you get to south beach, the fact that every guy is clearly gay or a total douche. However, since it was raining and thunderstorming all day Saturday, so we ended up driving to go see a movie instead getting the quintessential Miami experience of sitting by the beach... But what a movie!

Up in the Air with George Clooney was probably one of the best movies I've seen this year, and that was only half due to the fact that it was basically a movie about my life. The cinematography was brilliant--the packing sequence alone made the movie for me. It wasn't necessarily exactly what one expects from Hollywood, much less such a major star, but it worked in every way. Plus, I distinctly recognized locations in the airports and hotels. Watching it with Krista and Kirsten just made it better since we could all giggle together. I'm sure the other movie patrons hated us (although we made sure to sit a bit off by ourselves).

Krista had to head off to the airport early in the morning, but she and I frolicked in the ocean while Kirsten went for a beach run before we had to make the airport drive. With Krista safely on her way to Chicago, Kirsten and I went to pick up our BER rental car for our drive to Orlando together. We went for fun rather than practical, and grabbed a green bug (my sister's former dream car--this one was for you Kelly!). Before leaving Miami, we grabbed some coffee, people watched, and walked along the beach while taking photos in South Beach. As we were starting the drive, we suddenly realized the car had had only 6 miles TOTAL on it before we started driving! The fact that we actually managed to fit all of our crap in it while still seeing out the back and side windows was the icing on the cake.

Me with our Bug, in Orlando. Although, honestly, I wore this dress with flip flops the day before... Only one sun dress is going to fit in my suitcase for a 3-week stint.

Today's Outfit:

pink and black jersey dress, Nordstrom Rack
pearl string, gift
Report wedges, Nordstrom
pearl drop earings, gift
purple sunglasses, Nashville souvenir
grey cardigan, old navy (not pictured since it's SO warm and wonderful...)

I love florida, 70degree weather, humidity, and the possibility of not wearing stockings or tights. I can throw on this dress and be guaranteed to get complimented on how "put together" I am... in a jersey dress...? In Chicago next week, I can throw a turtleneck under it, and slap two layers of tights on and be fine as well. Jersey dresses=travel wardrobe trump card. And honestly, I think that is one thing this haircut does that I would never have expected--I glue it in place and it instantly makes me look more "done" than long hair ever did. Plus I have extra time for makeup and accessorizing since my hair takes so much less effort.

A good way to keep random runners from stealing your fruit... Or perhaps the Garden of Eden?

Orlando has been good for a seminar, especially a same city. Kirsten and I have luxuriated in our proximity to a Siemens office park, going for runs on their well-lit trails, and we've enjoyed Kirsten's mini-crockpot in which we cooked some delicious beets, green beans, and lentils. I've also mastered the art of making non-instant oatmeal in a coffee pot. There will be recipe posts to come. Now, I'm on my way for my first all-fly week of the year, hitting up NOLA, San Antonio, El Paso, and Phoenix before hitting Austin for the weekend. I'm flying entirely on Southwest this week too, earning myself nearly half of a plane ticket in a week. That is, if I can ever get away from this damn airport...

A Historical Jaunt in Hartford

2009-12-03T08:14:00.000-08:00

From time to time I get a presenter who urges me to go out and do something during the mid-day segment of the seminar. For the most part, this means I go work out, take a nap, or walk around the surrounding area so that I can stay close to the action in case things take a turn. However, the Hartford Hilton was taking great care of us (turned out, there wasn't much going on yesterday and performance reviews were coming up for the staff making them really energized to help us) and there were some things in town that I wanted to check out. The state capital building in Hartford is probably one of the most beautiful that I've seen throughout this journey, and I wanted to be able to actually take a picture of it. Also, Samuel Clemens' family home is located in Hartford (the site where he penned Huck Finn and most of his other popular books), and my english major soul was demanding that I go.

With all that in mind, I made sure to wear something appropriate that morning:

(Camera resting on a park bench by the capital building in Hartford...)

Wednesday's Outfit:

white and purple long-sleeve v-neck t's, Target ($5 each!!)
grey cardi, Old Navy
black pencil skirt, Ann Taylor
black belt, thrifted
grey and black herringbone tights, target
black flats, Mee Too via DSW
shell earings, Hawaii souvenir

The layers and heavy tights kept me warm while very comfortable and didn't make me look so dressed up that I'd feel extremely out of place at a museum. The flats allowed me to walk around the park surrounding the capital building a bit, and wander through the Mark Twain museum as long as I could. I love my new tights by the way... I have another pair to show off soon as well. I didn't pack any dress pants this stretch on the road because a) they take up too much space, and b) they get baggy-saggy really fast and stop looking nice. So I made a target run on Monday to get tights to add to my wardrobe, and of course found 30 other things to get as well... Thus the new tops.

Yay tights!

More Photos:

The capital building was gorgeous in the filtered sunlight of the day. The photo doesn't even come close to doing it justice.

Larry and I posing in front of the Mark Twain house (which happens to be across a lawn from Harriet Beecher Stowe's house... American lit of the mid-1800's evidently has a stronghold in Hartford, who knew?!)

I wasn't allowed to take pictures inside the Mark Twain house, but it was spectacular. The woodwoork, the stenciling, the furniture, the mantelpiece, the conservatory/"jungle", the billiards room where Sam Clemens wrote so many of his greatest works... and everything done up and decorated for christmas. It made me feel a bit voyeristic, but this was a guy who would have LOVED the attention we give celebrities nowadays, so I consoled myself with that fact as I stood mesmerized by everything in the house.

Of course, the consequence of having so much fun yesterday is that I am exhausted today. A nap it is!

Fashion and Lobsters

2009-12-01T11:06:00.001-08:00

Reflective windows for the win!

Today's Outfit:

grey tank top, Target
purple half-button blouse, Banana Republic/thrifted
purple cardigan, Nordstroms
black pencil skirt, Ann Taylor
black belt, thrifted
grey tights, DSW
report wedges, Nordstroms
pearl drop earings, gift
green headband, some shop in Bethlehem, PA

Once again, I found a reflective surface to snag a photo, but this one turned out better because I braved the cold in Manchester, NH to get some natural light. I think I did a better job packing this time out, although I definitely had to fight the urge to load my suitcase to overflowing again. This skirt is one of my staples, it goes with everything and gives my outfit just the right level of "business suiting" to make it okay that I'm wearing a cozy cardi instead of a jacket. And why is it that a simple belt takes the look up five or six notches? Oh, and also a note: these are the shoes I'm so crazy about that I would Krazy glue them back together on a regular basis.

In the background is my car for the week, a Pontiac Vibe. I actually love it. It's not often that I love a car I'm driving for BER, and I'm glad the National agent told me to get this over the Jeep Wrangler I was angling for. I'm just holding out hope against hope that it doesn't decide to snow in Rochester on Friday, because I'd rather not figure out how to drive this zippy little guy on ice.

In other news: meet Larry the Lobster. Every once in a while, I just need a friend on the road. Larry was waiting for me in my Portland hotel room yesterday, and he snuck his way into my suitcase and into my heart. Here is Larry saying a wistful goodbye to Portland, helping me out at my job, and keeping his claws free of swine flu.

My Two Cents

2009-12-01T08:59:00.001-08:00

1c: Being 5'6" is a problem when buying tights: I either have baggy-saggy ankles or a way too low crotch.

2c: When you love a pair of shoes so much you Krazy glue them back together on a regular basis, you've crossed a line. In other news, Krazy glue comes in single sized tubes, in a 4-pack carting case perfect for travel.

Music to My Ears in Music City

2009-11-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, Nashville. How I’ve longed to see you... And you didn’t disappoint!

After a lazy afternoon of working out at the hotel and hanging out at the airport in St. Louis, I arrived in Nashville in time to meet up with Heather and Lisa. We checked into our fabulous hotel (the Homewood Suites, and it was SWEET) and headed out to Broadway to see what was going on. There really was music playing everywhere, even from some speakers inside metal boxes on streetcorners. After some scary horse statues at The Wild Horse and watching some line dancin’ and two steppin’ from a safe distance, we packed it up and headed to The Stage, where we got our own dance on. Lisa and I knew most of the rock songs the band played, while Heather knew all the country ones (and we knew a few...). Singing and dancing along, enticing some fun flirtations and a free beer, we closed down the place and decided that we had started off our weekend quite well.

Saturday, we were off to do some hard-core boot shoppin’. Heather and Lisa both located perfect boots while I, ever the picky and frugal one, decided they neither fit into my wardrobe nor my suitcase. I did find a perfect pair of jeans however, and was quite happy with my purchase. While Lisa and Heather went to find a FedEx to ship themselves each a box of their new purchases, I napped (oh glorious sleep!). When I called them up, they had found themselves priced out of the country music museum ($20, who do they think they are? The MOMA?) and scoping out a more pricey ($40), but more exciting ticket--to the Grand Ole Opry show later that night! With the last few hours of Daylight we wandered around Vanderbuilt’s beautiful campus, and then headed back to prep for our second night out.

Dinner at Sambuca (on the recommendation of a Nashvillian who Lisa met in DC... gotta love how PM’s get around and get things done!) was off-the-charts amazing. Lots of small plates of tastyness--salads, lamb

meatballs, sweet potato melt-in-your-mouth gooey goodness, giant tater tots of greatness, puffs of italian cheese and ham, crab-stuffed avacado, and more, plus wine and cocktails came out to less than $50 a head! Plus there was live jazz. Yah, it really does get that good sometimes.

We snagged coffee to keep our full tummies from putting us to sleep and shopped for a bit more at Urban Outfitters (in which I wanted everything, but thank god for full suitcases!), then it was off to the Opry at the

Ryman theater. While we were sitting waiting for it to start, I wikipedia’d the Opry, realizing that none of us knew anything about it. Nothing could have prepared us though... The sparkley jackets! The honest-to-goodness twang! The folksy old radio commercials every other song! The Cracker Barrel jokes! The amazing and surpisingly diverse music that just kept on coming! “Devil Went Down to Georgia” played by Charlie Daniels himself! Really, we were grinning like idiots the whole time and when the two hours were over, we were half shocked it had gone by so fast.

But the night wasn’t over yet! Off we went to the bars, ending up at Tootsies, a dive the local girls in the boot shop had recommended. The place was jammed, and not necessarily in a good way. It was like a mosh pit of people of every age, shape, color, and creed imaginable. There was Obviously-Implanted Lady, and Douche-with-boobs-almost-as-big-as-hers, Stuck-in-the-80’s Man with curly long hair under his cowboy hat, and plenty of You-can’t-be-21 girls. Everyone was pushing and pulling and crammed into this tiny alley of a bar. We stayed for a bit, and then when we decided to bail, it was 5 minutes before we could make it the 20 feet to the front door. Seriously, a fire code nightmare, but a great story.

The next morning, we warded off of our hangovers with a brisk walk to the Copper Kettle, a great brunch spot (and only #3 in Nashville according to their own sign). Everything you could ever want was there for you... and we definitely took advantage. It really topped off a wonderful weekend. Nashville, I love you.

Before the Boarding Door Closes

2009-11-29T06:55:00.000-08:00

SeaTac has free wi-fi! I'm typing on my computer as I'm sitting on the plane waiting for the masses to board.

A few thoughts about this weekend:

A 7:20am flight to Newark isn't sooo bad, until you find out the seat you got is in a "limited recline" row in front of the exit row. I tried to check in and change seats, but with holiday travel the flight internets just laughed at me.
Being in town for 4 days is just a tease. All I want to do now is not be flying out.
I have hot pink toes just in time for MIAMI!
After ogling netbooks at Best Buy I'm going to have to try to partake in cyber Monday festivities.
Holidays centering around eating as much food (especially potatoes and desserts) do not leaving you feeling better.
Holiday travel complications make me wish we all celebrated on different days.
Limited recline SUCKS.

[Edit:] Turns out it's not so bad. I slept almost the entire flight without reclining, most of it curled up with my feet resting in the seat-back pocket. Yes, I sleep very oddly on planes.

It's A Love/Hate Relationship...

2009-11-23T08:16:00.000-08:00

I hate my job when I start to have anxiety whether the company will even make it to May.

I LOVE my job when I get to do a stay-over in Nashville and do everything from party on Broadway to see a Grand Ole Opry show at the Ryman. No matter how tired I am today, taking advantage of flying all over the country starts again, NOW.

Before the Boarding Door Closes

2009-11-20T19:50:00.000-08:00

(Trying out a new phone app for posting blogs without wifi proved to be ineffective Friday evening, but here's the post anyways. If I can get it to work, this might become a feature.)

Thoughts before taking off:

Having an 8pm flight is not as bad as it sounds. Things I've done since the seminar ended--

Worked out for an hour.
Got my amazing winter schedule. Oklahoma and Arkansas are on it! As are really great presenters and Hawaii!!!
Ordered my first espresso straight up, since I can no longer bring myself to order 12 oz of hot milk. (I added the tiniest bit of milk, cinnamon, chocolate, and nutmeg. DAMN FINE.)
Had a beer (or two) and dinner at the airport.
Found headphone covers that will allow me to continue to use my iPhone earbuds longer.
Got really excited to be going to Nashville for the first time.

Isolated Self-Portraits

2009-11-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

It turns out, it's tricky learning how to take decent photos of yourself while you're completely alone. Asking strangers isn't going to give you any more than one shot and half the time, no one is around to help. So I've tried a few other things in the last two days:

#1--Framed mirror portrait.

The Outfit:

Black Pants (Gap, ancient)
Blue and white print blouse (Old Navy, thrifted)
Oatmeal swing cardigan (Ann Taylor, thrifted)
Belt (thrifted)
Yellow headband (Fuego)
White plastic earings (gift)

This was my attempt to show that I tried belting my new cardigan. I'm not sure it worked that well, since I looked a bit floppy around the midsection... potentially creating that "preggers" silhouette that I end up with so easily if anything has an empire waist. Since I didn't have any natural light, the photo ended up horribly colored, but I like the framing.

#2--Moving furniture to act as a tripod near natural light.

The Outfit:

Black Pants (Again)
Black and white print shell top (H&M, from a clothing swap)
Ivory cardi (Nordstroms)
Black headband (Fuego)
Pearl drop earings (gift)
Black buckle flats (Nine West, Thrifted)

One thing I've noticed: I didn't spend money on pretty much anything I'm wearing. The pants were hand-me-ups, the cardi was purchased with my nordstrom rebate coupons last fall, the headband and the shoes were each less than $4. This is ubsurd. Both of these outfits cost me under $10 (except the Report Wedges that you can't see in the first photo, those were real money). I've always gazed at fashion blogs and cringed at what it would cost to buy all those pieces, but now I can clearly see that this is not the case. It's all about your own wardrobe, and finding your style within that. Although, I'm nearing the one week mark of things living in my suitcase, and it's starting to show a bit.

In other news: Grand Rapids' downtown has stolen my heart. It is so freaking adorable and has so many restaurants that look spectacular! I had lunch from the Pita House, and it was mighty fine. I've been posting about my restaurant experiences at BERfoodblog.blogspot.com (the link is to the right as well), and I've had some doozies. Check out my post about southern food in Detroit, and if anyone thinks they can make sweet potato muffins, CALL ME.

Last night I ended up eating at my hotel after getting wine ($2 off wine on wednesday!) and enjoying the free wi-fi in the lobby, but it was the Amway Grand Hotel, and luckily the food was pretty grand as well. Anyone else notice that the nicer the hotel, the more you have to pay for every little thing? It stinks. Why would some random holiday inn in Fishkill give you free wireless and not the Amway Grand?! The Amway Grand does have amazing bathtubs though, one can immerse fully, and closets big enough to sleep in. I guess you win some you lose some.

P.S. Just because it's local wine doesn't mean it's good.

When Worlds Collide

2009-11-18T15:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I'm on the road I happen to be in the right place at the right time. This was one of those times.
Sarah Palin is holding her first book signing in Grand Rapids, MI tonight, and I happen to be in that very city. Of course my presenter and I had to do a drive by and see what the security detail would be, and whether the line would be long.

The TV contingent was really the most impressive part, but there was definitely a crowd gathered outside the Barnes and Nobel in question. This morning, my presenter had prompted me to do a search to see if what one of the participants had told her was true, that the former potential second-in-command of the USA was going to be in the same city as we were that night... And Oh, what I found (scroll to the early morning stuff).

Celebrity is always fascinating to a segment of the population, and honestly, I was a bit curious to see what she'd do or say. A bit. If my presenter wasn't really sick, I'd probably have tried to wander over there and see what all was going on. But I was not interested to the point that I was going to stand outside in the chilly weather any longer than it took to snap some photos or sit on a cramped floor for hours waiting to Maybe get a glimpse. Much less interested to the point that I would wait outside all night. Those days are far behind me. I've waited in line to be at the front for a concert, I've done black friday at 5am... I've done the experience and no faux-politico is going to entice me to do it again. Even a chance to see Obama speak wasn't enough to entice me to wait for an indeterminate amount of time and to change my train ticket.

After all, I've gotten a hug from Jesus.

Take that Palin.

Fashion Blogging from a Cramped Suitcase

2009-11-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

Since I have to operate out of a suitcase, my clothing choices become very repetitive over the course of the year. My fall back packing plan is black pants, black skirt, two tops, and a cardigan or two. This week I not only packed too much stuff for the number of days I'm out, but I also went thrifting, which was bad for the cramped space I already have. I find it fun putting together different combinations of the same stuff every morning, and so I thought I would start attempting to blog about it.

Today's outfit:

high-waisted black skirt, Macy's
white ruffle-front blouse, Banana Republic/thrifted
oatmeal colored swing cardi, Ann Taylor/thrifted
black Report wedges, Nordies
shell earings, Hawaii souvenir

New clothes always call out to me and as such, here are a couple of my thrift store finds. I liked playing with the completely neutral palate today, and showed restraint in not belting my cardigan, even though the skirt itself is designed with a belt. However, I must note that it is incredibly difficult to take a fashion photo of oneself without a tripod, so please forgive the fact that I propped my camera at an awkward angle on the couch of the hotel lobby in Akron and then cropped the hell out of the photo. After 7 tries, I settled for what I got.

It should be fun to see what I come up with as the year wears on... (horrific pun not intended)

Re-routing and Overloading My Way Through Chicago

2009-11-15T14:29:00.000-08:00

Instead of flying on a painfully long flight home on Friday night from Burlington, VT I had planned on an easy direct to Chicago to spend the weekend with Krista and CJ. Oh, if only that had been what had actually happened.

The two days out on the road before this weekend were pretty good. Sadly, I gave up my free day on Veterans Day up to fly trans-con to Manchester, NH. In Manchester, I sat in on a seminar for the first time. I was out with Ken Vieth, who is an amazing artist and art teacher. Unfortunately I was really not feeling creative for whatever reason and what I created that day during the hands on part of the seminar was disappointing. It was a great project though, and I intend to attempt the art on my own time at some point this coming week. We had a great talk on the drive to Burlington, VT as we drove towards a sparklingly beautiful sunset. He was the kind of guy who’s had amazing life experiences that he’s willing to talk about at length, but he also is a question asker and was interested in what stories I had to share as well. I really appreciated talking about my own issues with figuring out what my life’s passions are and what direction to go in after this BER year.

Burlington is on my list of favorite places in the country. I got him to join me out for dinner on Church Street, a fun pedestrian area of town that also has a Ben & Jerry’s store (pumpkin cheesecake ice cream anyone?!) and we wandered a bit just enjoying the college atmosphere and New England architecture. After the seminar the next day, we had a while before our flights so we went down and parked downtown and walked to Lake Champlain, which was staggeringly beautiful with mist and late-afternoon sunlight streaming across it. After one more scoop of Ben & Jerry’s we headed off to the airport, where we were greeted by the most glaringly awful flashing screens I’ve seen in a while.

Turned out, there was the remnants of a hurricane sitting over all of the major east coast hub airports. Ken’s flight to Newark was outright cancelled while my connection flight through Philly was delayed 6 hours. By working my PM magic and working with a brilliant US Airways ticket counter agent (she is getting a commendation letter from me, she was THAT great in the crisis!). Ken and I both flew on a US Air flight to LGA, I got him a car to get to Newark while I changed terminals and got on an American Airlines flight to Chicago, arriving barely half an hour late. Considering the situation was pretty shitty overall, the feeling I got after managing the whole thing seamlessly was amazing. This job has really given me skills that are real world applicable. If anyone wants to know exactly what to say to a ticket counter agent in this kind of situation, call me. :) Also, I was capable of getting my presenter from one airport to another, while getting myself from one terminal of a huge airport to the other terminal, through the correct security line, and still have a front of the plane aisle seat.

When I got on my American flight to ORD, I was pretty excited to actually be making it to my destination, but definitely planning on downing a glass of wine. When my seatmate sat down next to me though, I realized the universe was making it up to me for the previous stress of my day. The cut,e 24 year old NYC equities trader next to me who has family in Seattle was not only fun to talk to, but also all about proving himself to the older, better traveled, attractive female on his right. After he started name dropping celebrities I knew I was about to get my drinks paid for. And that is another thing this job has taught me: let them pay, even if they make fun of you for knitting. That way I get to keep my per-diem for exciting hotel stays in places like Nashville and Miami.

When I arrived in Chicago, Krista and CJ came and picked me up for a chill weekend in Chicago. I’ve already done all of the touristy stuff, so I just wanted to see their new neighborhood and maybe go thrifting. And did we! CJ is the most amazing chef ever... she whipped me up a salad to make up for the fact that I’d barely had time for a luna bar for dinner and then the next morning, after a trip to the most amazing ukrainian deli/grocery store, we had a scramble/fry that was potentially the best thing I’ve had in weeks (excepting my mom’s squash soup... *hint hint*). She also figured out the proper name of the coffee drink I wanted--a coranado or a wet macchiato... damn it I wan to be back in a place that understands “flat white.” Krista took me for a terrifying yet exhilarating scooter ride around the neighborhood and showed me her super-secrect favorite gift shop which was definitely worthy of being favorited.

Then we went to the thrift store. I am not allowed to disclose the actual location of this amazing treasure trove (as if I could find it myself if I tried), but Oh Damn. Thank god I threw a space bag in my suitcase to crunch down some of the amazingness I purchased. I got an extra pair of black flats (Nine West and brand new), a knock-off yet adorable Prada bag (which I call affectionately Frada), tons of sweaters and tops, and an American Apparel skirt, nevermind the already squished contents of my suitcase. We had a blast, and then to top it off, we went to possibly the world’s largest whole foods to grab dinner and to gawk at the rich Lincoln Center folks. People actually get glasses of wine and drink as they shop. How yuppie-fabulous can you get?

Now I am in the Pittiest of Burghs, about to meet an old friend for dinner before starting a week out with one of my favorite presenters from last year. It makes up for the fact that I’m headed to Akron and Detroit this week as well.

The Nagging Netbook Conundrum

2009-11-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

Cross posted on Facebook, because I really do want to know what people think...

A question for anyone who knows/cares: Would a netbook be a worthy purchase? My 6lb MacBook weighs me down and I’m not about to buy an Air, but I’m starting to wonder if a $250 netbook would allow me to blog, catch up on my shows, skype, and browse the internets sufficiently to make me want to deal with Windows. I could also switch to using hotel business centers (often dirty, dank, suffocatingly warm rooms with ancient hardware), but that won’t allow for skype, working on documents without eternally emailing them to myself (or using google docs), or watching TV shows in my room or at the desk. My phone does a lot, but it doesn’t have a real keyboard or a way to pull photos off of my actual camera. In my happy little mental world, I’d get a cheap, colorful little netbook and load OSX and iPhoto/iTunes onto it, so that it would be able to run all the programs I already have figured out. Yet, I’m suspecting that since the little computers lack A) the DVD drive to load the OS onto the computer, and B) the processing power of my current computer, having my ideal world come together is not going to happen.

So non-techy me has some Technical Questions:
1. If you have a netbook, do you love it? Is it worth it if I already have a laptop?
2. Can you load OSX onto it?
3. Would my phone get angry if I was trying to hook it up to two computers, especially one being Mac, one PC?
4. How complicated would it be to basically sync the two computers together? I’m guessing lots of emailing of documents and jump drives...

If only apple would make a cheap netbook, bigger than the iphone and with a nearly full-sized keyboard... then I’d be a happy camper.

The Never-Ending List of Hobbies

2009-11-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

While I’m not doing NaNo this year, I think I still feel the need to get more things written down lately, and thus the reopening of the blog. This job can sap all of the will to live out of me, but there are enough things that I get joy out of that I should be able to manage--if I can find space in my suitcases. This week, I’ve got my moleskine, my three books (novel, self-help, poetry), my knitting project, my computer, my art kit, and my sewing kit just in case I lose my coat buttons. Really, that should be enough to keep me occupied for two weeks, especially considering I want to go out and see the places that I’m going (not so much Akron, but you get the idea). It’s almost too much to bring, but in a way it’s better to have all of these options so that I don’t end up completely absorbed into TV or the internet, or TV on the internet (damn you Hulu).

This week I have an added excitement--an art presenter. I’m really considering sitting in on his seminar, and tomorrow (Thursday) would be the day to do it. I have no paperwork to do, I’m at SERESC, and we’re not exactly in downtown Manchester (the only other place I would go would be to Target, and I really don’t need to fill my suitcase any more than I already have). I really like painting and getting some color down on paper and although sketching isn’t really my thing, I want to see what the seminar covers. I’ve never sat in on a full seminar, or even really sat in on even part of one. I think it’s time to change that up.

Otherwise, in hobby land...

I’ve only finished one book this year, a book from the clearance rack of Half-Priced Books: The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. It was an interesting and easy read. Now I’m on to a similar clearance find: The Shipping News.
I’m toting along a (lightweight) poetry book in the hopes that I will get around to reading and writing a bit more than prose. Expect that instead of NaNo, I’m going to think of a different challenge involving poetry, probably for December
My Knitting is going along fine so far since getting restarted back into it. I finished with a scarf before the BER year started, and now I’m working with a yarn I got in New Zealand. It’s merino and possum and a lovely, soft, deep black scarf is finding its way out of the ball. I’m working with a real pattern this time, a lace called “Branching Out” and I’m on ravelry. I should get going on some christmas gifts though... and put this one aside until those are finished.
TV is way too captivating... I have been sucked into Hulu and trying to keep up with the following shows: HIMYM, Big Bang Theory, House, Gossip Girl, Castle, ANTM, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy, Flash Forward, Fringe, The Mentalist, The Office, and 30Rock (thank god Psych went on hiatus). This is ridiculous. Even subtracting out commercials and reducing them 20/40 minute standards, this amounts to over 440 minutes, or over 7.5 hours a week when they are all showing. There are clear winners for what I watch over anything else (Castle, Glee, The Mentalist [due to CBS’s draconian internet posting rules]), what I hurry to catch up on (The Office, Gossip Girl), and what has been going by the wayside (Fringe, 30Rock). In theory, I have an hour to watch every day right? Well, the first 5 show on Monday, then two on Wednesday, and all the rest on Thursday. It’s like one massive tempting block of TV every couple of days... and not much else gets done sometimes.

So that’s what I carry around for entertainment purposes. Add in the yoga mat, resistance band, tennis shoes and swimsuit all curled up and stowed in my checked bag and you’re looking at WAY too many hobbies and not enough time to do them all. When they said I was going to have free time with this job, I took them too much at their word.

Swept Along for the Ride

2009-11-10T19:53:00.000-08:00

And here we go again...

While the first few weeks of getting back on the road for BER were exhausting, frustrating, exhilarating, and stupefying, I didn't feel like getting back to the blog right away. I tend to fall into the trap of complaining a lot when I'm surrounded by inefficiencies, or rather, things that I would do differently. The company is changing up a few practices in the interest of saving money, and my first couple of weeks were sacrificed to the alter of making it work:

I started out the year on the road alone, setting up my seminars and piecing together my paperwork at the agonizingly slow speed that only 4.5 months away from something can provide. As the week progressed, I added a second presenter to the car and therefore a second seminar to my morning responsibility, and nearly melted down while waiting for my voicemail to be set up to ensure I had reliable contact with the office.

The second week out was more or less fine, although the finer points of getting along with a presenter took some refreshing... although the memory that all mistakes are forgiven if you make a Starbucks run was the quickest to return.

This last week, once again burdened with two seminars, I managed as best I could while FedEx attempted to foil me over and over. Problems that I had never run into in the whole of the last year cropped up--the missing tech case, the wrong CEU paperwork shipped to me, and a box packaged inside of another box with all identifying information destroyed. That along with managing the personalities of two male presenters, one of whom was extremely hard of hearing, with two opposing senses of humor was a lot to handle. My sanity was saved in Manchester, at my Hampton Inn with a Sauna and at the best meeting facility in the whole USA--SERESC. There will be future posts about SERESC, perhaps even an ode.

This week, I had already had my Monday seminar cancelled when I got a call Sunday night letting me know that my packing procrastination had paid off--no Tuesday seminar either (sadly, due to a death in the family of the presenter). Two days working in the office in Bellevue, and a flight out tomorrow morning. I only regret the time I didn't get to spend christmas shopping in Manchester.

All in all, I think the complaining can come to a rest now, and I can go back to buzzing around the country marveling at how great life can be. And since my photos from NZ, Fiji, and Sydney are all up on Flickr now, I think I can start taking pictures again. Hope you're all ready for this...

Company Town

2009-04-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

One of the tings I do too rarely is celebrate a surprising find around the country. For example, Peoria, IL has some surprisingly beautiful architecture and glorious churches all in a riverside setting with beautiful steel bridges and magnificent sunsets. I drove around town to get a feel for it and as I was exiting I saw a glaring reminder of the recession: an enormous CAT factory.

This is a company town. When I hear about layoffs and losses on CNN, there is no face to what I hear. This town is on the brink of potentially becoming a ghost town... All of those cute little shops and restaurants on the riverfront could close as people lose their jobs and move away. All of the sunny optimism of the weather could be a blank promise of hope.

But the churches are old, older than CAT I would imagine. This town has seen its ups and its downs, and has as good a chance as anywhere to make it. And, regardless of the moral compass or white-breadedness of the town, and notwithstanding the television in the hotel lobby blaring FOX news (which I fear I might rip from it's sockets by the end of the day), I am interested in coming back next year. Plus, there's a great Italian restaurant by my hotel.

The Definition of Silence

2009-04-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

I was just driving back from getting a nice Panera lunch in Rockford, IL and I found NPR on the radio. In general, NPR is pretty reliably liberal but evidently when you get out into farm country, all bets are off. I was listening to a segment of Point of View in which a fairly non-radical christian was discussing the idea of gay marriage and the usage of "sexual orientation" in protective laws.

When I first tuned in, they had a weak but almost understandable point that the term "sexual orientation" might be too vague. One of the guy's points was that "there are a lot of really horrible things that people do sexually, and do you want to protect everyone who perpetrates such acts?" which ended up being a rather vague point. Then he went on to discuss how the Boy Scouts are facing the brunt of this law--they are being forced to allow homosexual members or are being forced out of parks since they have a religious mandate that is inherently prejudiced against gays (although to be fair, I have not checked that fact...is that actually true?). Then he went on to say that the media involvement and various laws allowing gay marriage were in fact "silencing those christians who believe in Biblical and traditional values."

He also brought up the recent stupid answer by Miss California USA in the Miss USA pageant (stupid mainly because she never actually answered the question) and even stupider response by Perez Hilton (stupid mainly because the guy is incendiary and not particularly rational in his arguments) as a way to show how any "good girl with values" is turned into a national pariah because of her religious values (I don't think she even mentioned religion in her answer which, included the phrase "Americans can choose between a traditional marriage and an opposite marriage"--both completely false and wtf?! worthy).

Hold the phone... remember this is NPR. NPR!! Oh Illinois... you make me sad today.

Here's why I was bothered by this argument:

#1: Who are you to say what kind of sexual relations are "horrible?" I agree that there are a lot of people out there who take part in various "kink" activities, but who am I to judge when it has no effect on me? Does our constitution and bill of rights not protect our individual rights in our own homes? I'm going to assume that you think that homosexuality is a disgusting, horrible sexual kink, but where do you draw the legal line? Is oral sex a horrible kink that should be considered in job application and other legal circumstances? (Sodomy is outlawed in many states in laws that I think even most "biblical christians" would agree are far past due for repeal.)

#2: To go one step further than your argument against protections for "sexual orientation"... If homosexuality is a part of you from birth, then would you ask for "race" to be repealed from the same laws? If (and in my mind it's just an if to appease those who insist) homosexuality isn't a facet of your innate personality and is in fact a choice, would you also request that "religion/creed" be struck from these laws? Maybe the language is too broad, but then again "race" covers everything from african, asian, jew, norweign, and german and "religion/creed" covers satanists and cultists.

#3: To speak to the Boy Scout point, I'm not so sure that I agree with all of the prosecution against the Boy Scouts, but there are precedents that are allowing these cases to go through. The Boy Scouts are a private organization and have nothing to do with government, but as a private institution they cannot discriminate just the same as any other. Do we allow them to prevent a black boy or a hindu boy from joining or a hispanic man or jewish man from being a troop leader? Then why can we allow them to prevent a homosexual boy from joining, or a homosexual man from leading the group? I like to think that our views of race have changed over time to find the prospect of banning a black troop leader due to his race absurd. Perhaps my argument fails in the backwoods of the country.

#4: My main confusion really boils down to one major question: how does protecting one group of people and affording them the same rights you have silence you? Simply because you allow homosexual couples to have the same rights as heterosexual couples by law and in terminology, how does that "silence" anyone? The act of allowing one group additional rights does nothing to remove your rights. You can still speak out about whatever you want, but you cannot act against a group because of one quality of that group. I pose this question: Would you not hire a Jew? Would you not serve a black person at your restaurant? Would you want the government to not allow inter-racial marriages (oop, depending on where we are, that might be a bad question to pose...)? Have you ever considered that it is your own insecurity with your sexuality and fears about other definitions of sexuality that prejudices you against those of other sexualities much as your own insecurity about your own personal power and fears about other cultures can lead you to be racist?

So yes, there are some things that need to be legislated simply because there are people who are so far off the grid, they refuse to open their minds to other human beings. Laws against racism and religious prejudice are there because there are many, many people out there who would otherwise discriminate. This is simply a law that protects a group of people who are different, whether by their natural condition (race) or their choice of lifestyle (religion), and we are adding another group that fits this law perfectly. If we are going to allow the biblical christians to have their say, we must also allow the homosexual community to have the same rights, not silencing one compells us to not silence the other, and un-silencing one has no bearing on the vocal quality of the other.

Penny For Your Thoughts

2009-04-17T08:57:00.000-07:00

$0.01: Sometimes having the nutrition information readily available online is not such a good thing after you caved and got the lunch you most craved because it involved little spiral pasta noodles.

$0.02: Sometimes a 1,000 calorie (not counting the garlic bread) lunch is completely warranted after a loooong morning of "why aren't there any snacks?" complaints.

$0.03: Southern Belles are by far the most annoyingly needy participants EVER.

Ten Things I'm Doing When I "Must Be Sooo Bored"

2009-04-15T09:32:00.001-07:00

1. Making money that simply goes straight to my savings account since I have no expenses.

2. Looking up travel plans for my summer--from the scenic byways and national parks of Montana and Wyoming to the kyaking opportunities in New Zealand and eco-resorts of Samoa and Tahiti.

3. Organizing a blog for my fellow co-workers about restaurants on the road, and enjoying some of those tasty treats along the way.

4. Reading more than you'd ever imagine--from YA fiction to the USA today to literature classics to the People magazine forgotten in the seatback pocket.

5. Knitting socks.

6. Rambling around cool parts of towns I'd never thought to go to (yay Bethlehem, PA) and seeing college campuses across the country.

7. Writing blog posts for my friends and family and facebooking to keep in touch.

8. Eating pretzels dipped in peanut butter.

9. The occasional work-related paperwork or random task.

10. Contemplating the vastness of my future and how to manage a life that is outside of the box, and so much more exciting than I'd ever expected.

Yah. Suck it annoying teachers who are just jealous.

When it is Okay to Break the Rules

2009-04-14T20:04:00.000-07:00

Break the rules when:

A: You've downed your water bottle upon noticing there was no sink near security to throw out the remaining 16 oz.

B: You purchase and consume a small (since when is 12 oz small?) latte to fill your tummy and power you through the remaining time zone adjustment and afternoon of connecting flights.

C: You board a small aircraft which flies at a low altitude for nearly an hour and a half, running into some rather bumpy air after the first 40 minutes, right about when you start to think about bugging your seatmate to move so you can go to the lavatory.

D: The captain turns on the seatbelt sign, keeps it on for the remainder of the flight, and then proceeds to circle around Cincinatti airport as there is a lot of traffic at the Delta hub, extending the flight by 10 minutes.

Facing a sloshy airplane bathroom and the ire of your not-so-friendly flight attendant is probably better than feeling like your bladder is about to burst as your plane bounces and skitters a landing on the runway. Lesson learned.

Breaking from the Break

2009-04-14T10:46:00.000-07:00

{Written in the Atlanta airport yesterday, and posted when I finally got internet access.}

As it turns out, flying cross-country is actually more relaxing than my breaks in town. It’s like being forced to read, sleep, and relax for 4-5 hours. Sure the airports are hell (Atlanta is pretty ridiculous today especially) but when you factor in the numbers of “events” I cram into a week, especially one involving Easter, it’s a bit much. I went over to Pullman to visit my sister with my mom for Mom’s weekend then had multiple lunch and dinner dates, a work meeting, and rock band sessions and even a couple of parties to fill the rest of the week… Sheesh. I drove almost 750 miles in my car over the course of the week I think... but crisscrossing the state and having friends both north and south of the city will do that.

I have to say, I like living restricted to what I have in my suitcase and carry-on bag, my room has so much superfluous crap in it everything just explodes out and all over when I’m home, since I try on about 4 outfits before leaving the house. It’s also nice to be fully allowed and encouraged to wear the same outfit every day on the job. I’ve tried packing a larger suitcase for multiple different reasons, but unless I have a 3+ week stint on the road one of these days, I don’t think it makes sense to pack that much, since 2 weeks in the same clothes doesn’t end up getting that stinky. This week is great, since my suitcase is set to get much lighter after this weekend when I deliver Maureen’s wedding gift. I’m planning a shopping trip post-weekend, the only question remaining is whether I’ll stock up on nutritious foodstuffs, or outfits from Target.

I almost missed flying over that week... quick, somebody snap me out of that! Ahh... Thanks Delta, delay my flight and make me remember why there's no place like home.

Penny For Your Thoughts

2009-04-07T09:56:00.000-07:00

When you start to have multiple dreams about your job in the course of one night, you know it's time for a break. Luckily I'm on one!

Vacay for a Day

2009-04-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

[So I wrote this Sunday, but lacked decent internets... Here ya go anyways]

My weekends at home are often one big rush to squeeze in as much as I can into one little day. As if I spent the whole time from Friday afternoon to Sunday night in an airport, I end up hurrying up to wait. Even when I’m not traveling, I’m either cramming in seeing as many friends as I can, doing as much laundry and re-organizing as possible, or rushing from errand to errand, inevitably still forgetting one or two. This is why stayovers can be so much better than going home, unless I find myself in a city where I want to see everything in the 36 or less hours I typically have on the ground.

I’m sick of this pattern, so I’m changing the arrangements. This weekend, I really didn’t want to have two long, pointless flight days. Baltimore to Seattle to Milwaukee would inevitably be broken into at least 3 shorter flights, and flying out for a week at a time is painfully inefficient. So instead, I went almost all the way home, and spent the weekend in Phoenix with another PM. It didn’t really save me anything in flight time except that I had two non-stops and didn’t have any packing to do on Saturday.

We agreed to splurge on a hotel and stayed at the Fairmont Princess in Scottsdale thanks to a friends and family discount from a connection. It cost us under $300 each for the entire weekend, including rental car (yay points!) and food. We spent the entire day yesterday lying by the pool doing absolutely nothing and then met up with some of her family friends for a family dinner and a movie rental. It was so nice to be warm (75-80!!) and to finally see some real sun (yes, I’m a little bit pink and crispy today, even with SPF 55).

Then I got even luckier: a non-stop flight from Phoenix to Milwaukee in First Class!! When the only seat left on the only reasonable flight is in first class the company evidently books it for us. There are definitely some creature comforts that make it worth it, but more on that later. I just really enjoyed having a chance to really have a vacation, even if it was only a day.

My latest goal is really to find friends all over the country so that I can have more mini-vacations like this. Anyone who wants to donate a friend to the cause is more than welcome to suggest folks who wouldn’t mind a couch crasher who LOVES to bring wine and cook dinner for her host :).

Seeing the Country in 20 Months

2009-03-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

Screw only making it to a reasonable 40 states—I’m going to see all 50 in less than 2 years.

At this point, my only remaining states to get to are as following: Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, Hawaii, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Mississippi, Oklahoma, North Dakota, Vermont, and Wyoming… At least two of which (Vermont and Maine) that I am guaranteed to get to by the end of May, and one more (Connecticut) that I have a high likelihood of driving through. For BER, I can definitely make it to almost everything that is left on the list, excepting Alaska and Wyoming. With KAL’s help, I hope to make it to Alaska for a short jaunt sometime in the not-too-distant future and I’m contemplating a little road trip to Yellowstone as soon as I get back for the summer this year. So, if you start with October of 2008, when I started this job, by the time May or June 2010 rolls around, all I have to do is go to all the states I am lacking, and add in extra visits to California and Florida to say I did all 50 in about 20 months.

Then you add in that I’ve gone to all of the more southern provinces of Canada west of Quebec and have at least been to Puerto Vallarta in Mexico, and I feel like I’ve covered most of North America. Then count that I lived in Paris for three months, toured Italy, and spent a month in New Zealand and Australia, all before turning 26, and I can hardly believe it myself. Now to just finish making it happen!

10 Things I Learned in First Class

2009-03-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

1. The "express lanes" for first class do not necessarily let you check in nor get through security faster.

2. The seats in coach really are inhumanely scrunched. I feel like a normal person and not a sardine.

3. Bloody Mary's are really disgusting.

4. Respectful and helpful treatment from a flight attendant makes a huge difference in how you feel about flying.

5. The really do have hot towels.

6. Bloody Mary's do not start to taste better as you try to force yourself to drink them.

7. Airplane food is totally disgusting. I wish I had the CPK at the airport, or an Alaska airline burger.

8. At least they have cute salt and pepper shakers.

9. The tray tables are actually big enough for a laptop and a glass of water (once you get the flight attendant to dump the bloody mary).

10. I can actually sleep/curl up in these seats.

Unfortunately for them, I still think US Airways is crap.

New Blog

2009-03-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

So in addition to this blog, in which I post too many food stories, I'm starting a new blog that's geared more for my actual co-workers. It still might make for fun reading for anyone who wonders about eating on the road. I mentioned Grannie Bee's on it, as well as my dinner last night in Charlottesville, VA. If you wanna take a look at the new Program Manager Restaurant Guide, go here.

Roadside Adventures

2009-03-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we had a long drive from Richmond to Roanoke. About two hours in, my presenter noticed that we were about to pass Appomattox, VA and we decided it was about the right time to find a bathroom and get dinner. First we drove to the national park, where we saw the battlefield and (from a distance) the reconstructed Appomattox courthouse where, if you don't recall, Lee surrendered to Grant to end the Civil War. Then, on our way back to the highway, my presenter spotted a sign pointing to town where "restaurants, antique shops, and stores" were promised.

If you exclude fast food, there was actually no "s" on the end of "restaurants". The only option we could find was on the fabulous, one-block Main Street--Grannie Bee's. Walking in was like walking into an odd horror movie. We were the only people under 60. There were no less than three women in terrifyingly overdone makeup. Everyone stared at us like we were aliens. The entire place smelled like a deep-fryer. Everyone spoke with a thick southern twang. No joke.

The menu was sparse, but they had sweet tea! The waiter announced that the special was "saol-oh-mahn cakes" and "...the extra vegetable tonight is mac'n'cheese." I was definitely not ordering the special, but feeling adventurous I ordered fried flounder (meh...), green beans (from a can...), and the "veggie" mac'n'cheese (probably velveeta...). At least the sweet tea was tasty and the rest was definitely edible, unlike my presenter's unwise choice of "country ham" which more resembled shoe leather than food.

As soon as we exited the restaurant, walking past the most pathetic, wilted salad bar I have ever seen (including a large, soupy, clear container of cling peaches), we climbed into the car and burst out in giggles. Really, who cares if the food sucked, it was amazing. Utterly amazing.

Amplification

2009-03-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think the more difficult a presenter is only amplifies the problems we will face that week. In a typical week, there's at least one day where the room is set up all wonky or where the sound system is total crap, but when you meet someone who has more than their 3 allotted suitcases, you know it's going to be even worse than normal.

First off, it's not impossible to pack light, in fact almost all of the crap I see my presenters set out in the morning is completely worthless. This week I have a presenter who has her own (albeit miniature, it's designed for backpackers) guitar with her... and she uses it MAYBE twice during the day, for less than 5 minutes at a time. The guitar case, along with her three suitcases and a backpack definitely puts her over the flying carry-on limit. All for 10 minutes of showing off that she can play simple chords. Not necessary at all, and all that crap only means we'll have a harder time packing up the car and setting up at the start of the day. You're starting off at a disadvantage already.

Second, what's with needing a ridiculous amount of complicated set up? If you are so particular that you request your tables in a specific pattern on a diagram, then complain that you have to move them into a different pattern every morning, which the set up people would have to be telepathic to figure out, you're setting yourself up to spend way too much time moving tables. This goes along with having too much stuff--less stuff requires less display space. Plus, stop being so anal and be a little flexible, it'll save you oodles of time and make everyone happier.

Last, what's with the attitude? I'm no "The Secret" follower, but really, I always hit unavoidable traffic, have completely absent hotel staff, or have a speaker blow up when I'm with the more anxious presenters. Maybe I just don't notice the bad stuff when I'm with people who aren't expecting everything to go wrong, or who react with calm efficiency when a wrench does get thrown in the works. Calm down and let things simply happen... it'll make your ulcer fade a bit and make my day (and yours!) so much better.

This week, as with last week, I've got a presenter with too much stuff, too much anxiety, and too little flexibility. Both are fun, wonderful people, but the sheer amount of stress they hold (and pass along to me) is ubsurd. This week I'm having microphone problems, which is bad enough as it is, but with someone who is so laden with baggage it's ten times worse. Hopefully the problem will be solved soon via a new microphone, but until then, I'm just keeping on keeping on. If I stay calm and content it balances things a bit.

Stupid Stupid

2009-03-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

...I'd like to blog about random things this afternoon, mainly the fact that I feel very little attachment to doing a good job this week, but I can't because my presenter requires my computer to be able to play the sound part of some of the videos she HAS to play for laughs in her presentations. See, her sound card broke and my Mac can't hook up without an adapter cable that I don't have/carry because their computer problems are not supposed to be my responsibility.

At some point earlier this week, I should have said, "Really, just skip the videos," but for some reason I'm being too nice again, and in order to not rent a $500 laptop for 4 LAME videos, I'm offering this solution. I should have saved my placating for next week's hyper-insane presenter. After all, I got another "But really, she's an amazing person..." voicemail the other day, a SURE sign next week will suck.

Yay for good friends in Tennessee later tonight!

Penny For Your Thoughts

2009-03-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

An old Starbucks card gift sleeve makes a nice iPod earbud cosy:

Busy Busy Busy Bee

2009-03-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

So I've been definitely feeling less than exciting lately, at least as far as this blog goes. I've gone to Niagara Falls, hung out with great folks (both co-workers and old friends), and visited NYC for a night of crazy fun all since whenever I last posted. I've completed knitting my first pair of socks, finally finished reading another "classic" I'd never been assigned, and this week am in the process of picking up states 35-38. All this while working 11/12 days and experiencing some fun airplane delays and border-crossing dramas. Luckily, I'm fine, everything is still rolling smoothly, and I'm still luckier than most when it comes to travel. I think it really comes down to the fact that sometimes I stretch myself too thin.

How many hobbies do I have? How many projects am I working on while planning fun jaunts around various towns? How many friends am I trying to keep up with via texting, facebook, email, IM, and scarce phone conversations? How come I'm still confused why I'm tired?

Penny for Your Thoughts

2009-02-24T12:25:00.000-08:00

You only get a cent:

Why the F*@& is it so cheap to fly to Seattle all of a sudden?!?!

I hate my job/i love my job

2009-02-24T09:17:00.001-08:00

I hate my job when... flying from Chicago on Friday and then to Norfolk on Monday is $200 more expensive with New Orleans in the middle than with Seattle in the middle.

I love my job when... I can spend a chunk of my morning chilling at panera wiring blog posts and scribbling journal entries.

A Food Journey

2009-02-11T11:03:00.000-08:00

So much of the time I have been relegated to eating only the worst foods--hotel cuisine, airport cuisine and the American chains preferred by many of the presenters I travel with. So when I get someone who eats adventurously along with me, or find myself with someone who will let me leave for the majority of the day, I end up becoming the foodie-on-the-road that I want to be. Here's a brief chronicle of some of the tasty things I've enjoyed over the last couple weeks:

State College, PA

I found myself with a presenter who was willing to go out to Indian with me, even though she'd never had it before! It was a decent place, although it's chai did not reach the "bottomless" qualities of Ceadar's and Taste of India. College towns are always some of the best places to find decent food, because they've got cheap, ethnic, and independent shops along with the safety-blanket chain stores like Subway and Panera. The next day at lunch time, I wandered into a place called The Green Bowl, and OH DEAR GOD it was an all-you-can-eat, make-your-own stirfry bar. Like mongolian gril but better... more sauces, better meat (shrimp!), brown rice, and oh so tasty everything. I had two bowls, one of which included tofu, and was completely satisfied.

Baltimore, MD and Richmond, VA

I ran into some other PM's in these two towns immediately after State College, and was gaurenteed some decent eating. KN and I went over to Wegman's grocery store for lunch, gorging ourselves on amazing things and learning that taking photos in a grocery store is evidently strictly forbidden. We shared a lovely chocolate cake, and I had some amazing soup and satisfied my constant olive cravings.

That night we drove to Richmond where we met up with another PM, WW and his presenter. Somehow I had managed to get all 6 of us to agree to going out to an ethiopian restaurant that my previous week's presenter had turned down. Nile Ethiopian was great to us, giving us some extra food on top of what we ordered so that we could taste lots of different options. I know it looks like dog food, but it was soooooo good. Aside from the weird coked-out employee that showed up and tried to join us, it was a fun night!

Virginia Beach, VA and Raleigh, NC

About the only thing I hadn't had was seafood, so over the last two days I've filled that craving. In Virginia Beach, at a restaurant overlooking the moonlit beach--Waterman's, I had scallops, crab and shrimp sauteed in butter and full of YUM. The hush puppies weren't too shabby either. Then last night I went to a place I'd been before, Fishmonger's Oyster Bar, in Raleigh to score some more southern-style seafood. I captured this meal about halfway through, but damn if those shrimps (and fried green tomatoes) weren't mighty fine!

Tonight I will surely have to resort to airport or hotel food since I'm getting in late, but tomorrow I might be able to go down the road to Taj for some good Birmingham Indian food.

I'm definitely not the same size I was, and I keep trying to run or walk to keep some of the restaurant calories off. But the weight seems to be going to all the right places, so I'll continue to relish local food as long as I can.

Penny For Your Thoughts

2009-02-11T06:54:00.001-08:00

3 cents worth:

1. If you treat me nicely I will go out of my way for you. Treat me like crap and I won't want to come to a full stop when I drop you off at the airport. Tuck and roll b!&@*#.

2. I <3 70 degree southern weather, an adorable shopping center down the road, and a chance to regain my mental sanity.

3. I'm going to be very happy when I can stop feeling like ranting all day. Just remember... Nothing is worse than 8 hours in Reno or working for a full year with the dynamic duo.

I Hate My Job/I Love My Job

2009-02-10T10:47:00.001-08:00

I hate my job when... the presenter treats me like a personal assistant, asks me to go get her heavy box out of the car for her, and has a tone in her voice that simply says she thinks I am beneath her.

I love my job when... I basically say, "Peace out!" and go for a run on the sunny and sandy boardwalk in Virginia Beach during my lunch break. Don't you dare give me crap for it, I'm driving your snoring and drooling butt almost 4 hours tonight, so damn straight I'm taking an hour and a half for lunch.Damn Straight.

A Million Stories to Tell

2009-02-08T16:51:00.000-08:00

The problem with having a blast constantly on the road is that there's no time or energy left to blog about it. Lets just go back in time a bit and see if I can cover some of the fun I've had making the most of my weekends:

Las VegasYou can't blame me for not posting... *cue cheesy joke about what happens in Vegas*

My first trip ever to Vegas was a blast, mostly thanks to the group I was there with. I had the best hotel-roommates ever and we enjoyed both crashing early the first night and getting sleep as well as getting a little crazy with some press on tattoos in our pre-going out prep session for the Saturday night festivites. We walked up and down the strip, enjoying the 65 degree all the more since we'd all come from places that had been below freezing. I could hardly believe how tacky everything was--the gigantic open containers, the clothes, the posters, the cards littering the ground, even the casinos themselves! I gambled a grand total of $1 and lost it in 4 pulls of the handle but managed to find the perfect fake coach purse that I'd been looking for.

When we went out Saturday night, we went to a bar on the roof of the Rio hotel and enjoyed an absolutely spectacular view along with a few minutes of a VIP open bar that we managed to sneak into. I was sadly the first person to be waved off by the bartender when the 10pm cutoff for the open bar hit, but the guy in front of me (who had gotten some drinks) at one point had turned around and accientally whacked my arm pretty well. I guess he felt bad because he ordered one extra drink and handed it to me, without hanging around to awkwardly chat me up!! Best free drink ever! I had brought along a fun little pink dress that I'd bought in mexico and a big black belt that i figured would help bring it to Vegas standards. Turns out wearing anything other than black (and I was in HOTT pink) meant I stood out. After having some serious anxiety about not fitting in by wearing a dark colored shirt-or-dress, I ended up getting so many compliments I was handily put in my place for freaking out.

Generally, it was a blast, and I enjoyed getting to know a lot of my co-workers much better.

Charleston
I decided that I wanted to go to Charleston, SC when I realized I was going to be stuck in the Virginia area for three weeks straight, yet no other program manager was available to join me in picking up another (warm) state. Luckily I have awesome friends who are willing to fly cross country and/or drive 5 hours to join me for a weekend. Kirsten found a fabulous 2 hour walking tour that ended up being 3 hours, and we covered miles and miles while looking at some amazing old buildings. Charleston is a quintessential southern town and theyve done a great job of keeping beautiful old buildings in the old part of town intact and well kept. Of course, Maureen and I wandered a bit of the non-walking tour part of town and there are some typical college housing type buildings near the university. Again I managed to enjoy a weekend in the sunshine and near-60 degree temps with great peeps. We had a fun dinner out, although nothing requiring pink dresses.

Charleston really did surprise me with how extremely beautiful it was, along with how freaking huge (and how close to the waterfront) Steven Colbert's childhood home is.

The Other WashingtonOkay... how the F did I get three 60+ degree stayovers in January and February?!

I rolled into DC this weekend because I ended one week just south of the city and started the next week 2 hours away in Richmond. After dropping of the bags and my rental car, I spent the evening walking the Mall up and down as the sun set. I ended up freezing, but kept going and got some amazing photos (they'll be up soon at flickr.com/photos/arirose) of the sunset. I almost cried at the Lincoln memorial, and did the same in front of the white house. Then I took myself out to a nice dinner and met up with another program manager (a different Kirsten) who was in town with some friends. We went out and experienced all the yuppiness of DC, including a round of 10 irish car bombs bought by some kind of banker who was seirously drunk and trying to impress Kirsten. Damn those things are good... and have a lot of alcohol!

The next day I hit up museums for about 5 hours. I saw the dinos and diamonds at the Natural History Museum, the Star Spangled Banner and first ladies dresses at the American History Museum and some amazing art at the National Gallery and American Art museum. I poked my head in so many places and wandered past so much beautiful architecture throughout the weekend that I was overwhelmed. The capital really is spread out... I walked between 5-10 miles every day, easily. Today I was able to enjoy the sunshine and visit the market for a bit as well as go to a couple more museums before picking up my car and heading south.

________

There's a lot more to be said about things that have happened in the last couple weeks, but I figure the facts of the stayovers are the most interesting to all of you, so I thought I'd start there. Hopefully in the next four days before I come home for break I'll get around to transcribing some of the things I've had written in my journal and give an update on what I've been doing mid-week to keep me from posting anything :)

Penny for Your Thoughts

2009-01-22T05:26:00.001-08:00

Six cents worth:

1. Who knew central Pennsylvania was so beautiful?

2. Is it really a compliment when your presenter says he likes that "you drive fast but not carelessly"?

3. I've acclimated. Fifteen degrees is no longer cold.

4. It's amazing how magnificant my own bed seems once I've been on the road more than a week, even though the hotel beds are sometimes so much better appointed.

5. McDonnalds coffee is not much cheaper and definitely not better than Starbucks coffee. And when I ordered, the girl couldn't fathom someone ordering a latte without a flavor.

6. Driving sometimes requires caffine. Sleeping requires a lack of caffine. This is how one becomes sleep deprived.

Hope and Its Burden

2009-01-20T07:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, Vegas stories to come for all you patient chickadees, but there's other things I'd like to say first about the inauguration, if you'll allow me a rather circuitous route to it...

Life has a way of changing what I think of it constantly, especially regarding its purpose. As a child, I can remember being very moment-to-moment about my goals in life. My purpose was always some tangible thing or translatable abstraction--from being a scientist and curing cancer to having a life philosophy of tolerance, it was all very clearly defined, straightforward, and completely rationalized. At some point in my teen years, I lost all forms of faith and optimism, realizing that the forms of spirituality in my life were clogged with human failings and childish obedience rather than any real understanding of hope. I'm sure you all have undergone similar questioning periods or ambivalent stages in your life regarding what you are really here to accomplish, even if they were not so pronounced or disruptive as mine or perhaps more so. We all eventually have to realize that our state of understanding is in constant flux if we are ever to come to terms with our own failings and achieve any kind of real wisdom.

Not that I claim any kind of real wisdom; I am only just now coming to the full understanding that what I think now will eventually be usurped by another thought and that I will never achieve any final pinnacle of awareness. There is no final pinnacle after all, and no better or worse. No, what I am trying to say is that I'm just now coming to the understanding that the purpose of my life, in this moment at least, is evolution (And before you say anything... I don't mean a biological evolution, Jeff ;)). If you pay attention, you'll see a pattern of reoccurrences in your life. Every time a situation arises it provides you an opportunity to react however you want. When you refuse to change how you react, you do not evolve but only continue to perpetuate the cycle. If you break the cycle, new opportunities can arise for you to grow and evolve in new ways. The funny thing is, no one has to be conscious of this pattern and often your growth occurs in a sub-conscious state, but if you pay attention to it, you can start to control it.

I could go into my latest thoughts on life here, but without belaboring the point this last summer I started to see this pattern in a different way than I had before. Deliberately, I pulled myself away from the path that I had found myself on, and stepped outside of the cycle. Albeit, I did it in a fairly comfortable way--with a job that was relatively easy to get (due to strong connections and actual experience I had never realized I had) and that provided me with a short term guarantee of not having to figure out what else to do. My outright, conscious goal with this job was to push my limits of my self-definition, primarily socially. What happened was a strange shift. I discovered that the social definition was a piece of cake to alter, but multiple other aspects of my life shifted far more drastically than I had even dreamed. Somehow, I am now absurdly optimistic compared to the girl I was six months ago. I am happier, healthier, more stable, and so much more in control of my life that most of my anxiety about my future career has become a flimsy shadow of what it once was.

So there's a personal reason that when I sit in my hotel rooms alone with my TV, I start bawling every time I listen to Obama give a speech. It's not that I agree with everything he says, or expect that things will change overnight, it's that the rhetoric he uses meshes so completely with the experience I've had lately. He speaks about the evolution of America, with the obvious example of the gradual change from slavery to an African American president, but he carries it on into the future. While the last 8 years have been about staying the course and fighting any threat to our way of life as if America was a static nation, Obama is explicitly working at changing our way of life while retaining the principles that made us great. America is an ideal, one that may never be fully realized but one that we can strive towards, and while there is real work to be done, Obama's optimism regarding the ideology of our country is absolutely refreshing. After all, I have learned the value of being optimistic over the last few months... Less things go wrong when you optimistically know that it will all work out, if only because you automatically make space in your mind to react rather than anticipate and therefore can rectify any situation far faster.

His message is focused on sacrifice as well, with emphasis on the idea of community and hard work. I have long spent time separating myself from those around me since at one time, those around me separated themselves from me. Again, his message hits a nerve... as I have slowly begun to understand what a true community of friends I have and can have, and what a difference my "new-found" social skills have made. Acting out of Love towards everyone I meet is something I never really consciously decided to do, but I found myself doing it and started noticing it. A warm greeting and the intention of empathy in my heart makes such a difference... it's simply astounding.

So for me, every time our new president has gotten up on his podium to tell the American people that "Yes, We Can," my heart wrenches in the best way possible. I think I cry for the lost time, for the pain we all had to inflict on ourselves before we could come to this understanding and the pain that will continue to afflict us. I cry for the people who cannot fully understand the power of this kind of philosophy, including my own self-consciously simplistic understanding. I cry for the fear that the hope will fade and that the fear-mongering of the last few years will drop a pall over this light. I cry because I feel such immense joy that this world can change if we only let the power of the human spirit burst free of the chains of pessimism. I cry because I am intimately and personally wrapped around the philosophies that I am hearing our country embrace. I cry because I know that tomorrow the practical aspects of daily life will come creeping in on the celebration, and that we will all be tested as to whether we can actually live up to these ideals.

Martin Luther King Jr. was an idealist who never saw his full dream realized. The dreams of today will undoubtedly be similarly long-lasting and long-languishing before they can be fully realized. I smile because I know that there are others in the world that share the burden of hope that one day they will be realized. One day, we will evolve.

Sock it to Me

2009-01-16T09:29:00.000-08:00

Anyone have size 6-6 1/2 feet? I think my socks are a little bit too snug, but I'm not one to pull out half the stitches and try to make it any longer. Maybe I'll sell them on Etsy.com when I'm done with the second one.

This one took a while, but was really fun. I think I might do another pair, but with chunkier yarn and bigger needles next time. Turns out that small yarn takes WAY too long to finish. Knitting at the registration table and on planes definitely gets you attention, though, which can be a very good thing. ;)

Immunity and Impunity

2009-01-15T08:24:00.000-08:00

Turns out my cold might have been a flu, but after coping with feeling horrible from Thursday through Monday, I managed to beat whatever was keeping me down by Tuesday night, just in time for the fun to begin. Working with a bug keeping you at about 25% of your capacity is pretty wretched though, especially when you have no other option. I had to register people and do all of the AV set-up and tear down, regardless of how sick I was. It was something I knew going in, but I didn't realize that I'd be getting a flu over the course of the year. Flying on Sunday turned out okay since I got to talk my way into the Economy Plus section of the United flights I was on. Turns out threatening to need "constant access to the bathroom" due to a flu gets you some kind of respect. Might have to try that again later on. :)

The good part of my job is that I can just sleep all morning once the morning announcement is out of the way. So if I do it to start off the day at 8:30, I can sleep at least until 1pm if not 2pm. That's how I managed to get better, no thanks to my presenter refusing to offer to do a day's worth of driving... At least he cut me some slack and let me go sleep rather than insisting I be out front all day. He's actually really laid back, as was my presenter last week, so I have been very lucky in that. It's nice to be able to sleep through your work day, even if you have to get up and drive 2-3 hours after the seminar.

Since I'm driving, I was able to snag a side trip to the state of Delaware (as seen above). We were going from DC to Cherry Hill and I got off the turnpike for a mile to get to the University of Delaware so that we could take a picture. So that's another state checked off the list! I've also had same cities with other program managers this week so I've had fun hanging out and getting good food with different people my age. We have a great instant camaraderie on the road since we all know what the other one is going through. We gab about presenters and other program managers and just generally have a chance to relate to someone who is not hotel staff or a teacher. Teachers... ugh.

This weekend, I'll pick up another state and travel to Vegas for the first time with a whole crew of present and former program managers! Should be a barrel of laughs and debauchery... I'm so excited!! :)

...and it gets bad finally.

2009-01-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

I haven't had a truly bad day until now, but I wanted to get a blog post in before the week ends. :P

Consider this a placeholder. I'm sick, tired, and not really capable of doing my job, but doing it anyways, all while agonizing over not getting to enjoy portland at all while I'm here. ARGH.

Again, and Again...

2009-01-02T10:24:00.001-08:00

Why would I start again on a goal that is a set up for failure? However fast 12 months seems to pass these days, taking a photo a day, writing every day, doing art once a week... it seems like a long time, rife with opportunities to stop. I'll have to play catch up at some point, I'll have to stop and snap or scribble something in a rush, I'll probably fail.

But there's a chance I won't. And so 2009, here we go... With a list that is slightly behind (I managed to fiddle some things and cross off a good number that I'd forgotten I'd finished), it's closer to being on track than I expected. I even finally gave it up, 10 inches up, and did Locks of Love. I surprised myself and almost cried as she cut. I got almost none of the goals finished that I thought I would finish, but I'm doing okay. My first sock is coming along, and there's plenty of time to keep working.

This year I have it easy with only 365 photos. I might try to start off each month with a photo of myself (no promises here...), and here I am as of January 1, 2009. Let's see how I change, shall we?

A Trip to the Windy City

2008-12-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

After probably one of the best weeks out with one of the best presenters that I've had so far, I finished my week in Chicago, in one of the worst hotels I've had to deal with. Luckily, I didn't have to stay the weekend in that hotel. I met KAL at O'Hare and then we took the train into the city to stay at the la-di-da Hyatt right downtown. As always, K had a good connection and got us a "Regency Club" room, for super cheap! We got to our room with my crazy load of luggage (thanks for the help toting my big bag K!!) and then went to enjoy the "hot appetizers" in the special lounge for "guests who require an even higher level of service than the Hyatt standard."

We chose convienience over finding a true conniseurs restaurant in the sub-freezing temperatures and found a deep dish pizza place nearby to grab dinner. After dinner, we went wandering around just to see a bit of what surrounded the hotel and see if we could find a bar. Both of us gasped in pure christmas travel joy at the sight of a beautiful old building which had been lit red and green at the top. Across the river we found a gigantic statue of the American Gothic figures in front of the NBC building (and Chicago Tribune sign!) but no bars. So we wandered back across and found a place to get a Sam Adams (since that's what people in other parts of the country drink when they're not drinking Bud, I'm still getting used to not being able to get Mac'n'Jacks ever).

By the time we got to the bar we were pretty much frozen solid. Turns out people have long puffy coats for a reason, and not just as a fashion statement. I decided that I needed to buy the flat, wrap-around black fleece ear muffs that I saw on all of the men about town.

We called it a night pretty early, since we were both exhausted, and proceeded back to the hotel for some absolutely fabulous sleep. This bed... oh god. It was spectacular. There was some kind of thick feather-bed top to it, and it just was so cushy i just melted into it. Although, after having had so many king beds to myself I had to remember that I couldn't turn fully horizontal on the bed during the night.

The next day we had breakfast at the Regency Club room and then went out shopping in the decidedly Seattle-esque weather (45 and chance of showers). Throughout our time on the Magnificant Mile I decided two things: 1) Ann Taylor Loft is KAL's store, but generally not mine. With the exception of a ridiculously on sale (66% off!) pencil skirt. and 2) Designer Jeans don't automatically make you look good. I tried on two dressing rooms full, and decided that I didn't like them any more than I liked my previous $50 pair, in fact I liked them a lot less. Sadly, I didn't find the perfect pair of earmuffs but we did find a Noodles and Co for lunch!

We weathered the rain and enjoyed Millenium park (Yay Bean!) and then met up with another program manager who happened to be in chicago the same weekend. She (well, her cousin who lived in Chicago) helped guide us to a little german christmas market where we proceeded to drink gluewhine (or whatever you call it) and wander around. We were icicles again at this point, since the market was outside and the rain was still falling. Back to the hotel we went to try on our new purchaces and get ready to go out to a show.

We'd gotten half-price tickets for "The Christmas Schooner," at a little theater in Belmont. I found the show a little hoaky for my taste, but it was fun regardless. The story is about a Michagan sailor who in the late 1800's filled up a boat with christmas trees and sailed across the icy lake to bring the trees to Chicago. I was sudenly sturck with amusement that sailing a lake could be so dangerous, but one look out our hotel window (and some jibes from KAL) reminded me that those lakes are BIG. In fact, they're Great. :P

In the morning we met up with one of KAL's friends who had moved to chicago and had an amazing breakfast with gigantic cinamon rolls. We then wandered over to check out Wrigley field, and then we were off again back to fabulous O'Hare. My flight got delayed multiple times (thank you Northwest!) but I ended up finally making it to Kansas City. All in all a great trip!!

Short List: Christmas Break

2008-12-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Aside from the obvious holiday clatter, I'm going to need a mission for my break this year, since I am going to have nothing to do! Here's a list of 12 things to try to get completed by January 5th, when I fly out:

To Complete:

97. Go through goals, re-evaluate, and add #97 by December '08.
90. Go to the Pioneer Square first Thursday art walk. (If there is one on Jan 1st)
83. Make time for a Sister-Bonding event and stop acting like a know-it-all.
70. Make bed every day for a week. (0/7)
65. Create a Lulu.com book of my LJ entries.
63. Knit a cabled scarf.
45. Subscribe to a literary journal.
38. Sell snowboard and coat on Craigslist.
28. Make homemade bread (with yeast, no beer bread!).
31. Eat no take-out or restaurant food for 2 weeks straight. ??????
15. Donate to Locks-of-Love. ?????
37. Cash in change jar only when completely full.

And some things to work on:

94. Buy 10 CD's rather than downloading. (3/10) [Barcelona, Helio Sequence, Death Cab for Cutie]
89. Attend 5 plays before I turn 25 (and have to pay more). (2/5) [The Imaginary Invalid, 3-16-08] [A Marvelous Party, 7-11-08]
88. Go to 5 new restaurants in Seattle. (2/5)
82. Send thank-you notes for all gifts from Christmas and birthdays. (C07, B08, C08, B09, C09, B10)
80. Send a "Just because..." note 1x a month for 6 months. (0/6)
59. Complete a visual journal.
67. Back-up hard drive 1x a month for a year straight. (2/12)
95. Increase my list to having seen 50 of the AFI top 100 films. (26/100)
57. Write a blog post a week for 3 months straight. (5/12)
17. Take a spa day once every 3 months (Hot House, Massage, Facial, Manicure/Pedicure, or Bubble Bath work!) (3/11) [Massage, 9-26-08]

That didn't really shorten the list much from it's 101 state, but hopefully it'll help me figure out what to do when I'm hopelessly bored (and prevent me from catching up on season 1 of Gossip Girl). ALso, since I'll be heading into year two I want to try to catch up to pace a bit more than I'm at. If I can cross off twelve things I should definitely be much closer than without them.

New Jersey Tackiness

2008-12-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Really...?

Fake frescoes on the ceilings, fake marbling on fake columns, gaudy Christmas decorations everywhere, fake Grecian statues, gold accents everywhere, and even a ceiling panel that has the constellations of the night sky on it. It's like a low-rent version of all things holy.

Not to mention the glorious Christmas music on a loop. Everything from operatic style carols, to children's choruses, to some kind of chintzy organ music.

I am in hell.

Although, when it comes right down to it this week I've been enjoying things more than in the last few previous weeks. In Manchester I got out and drove around town a bit, and my presenter is great fun. Yesterday after the seminar, we drove through "downtown" trying to find a place to grab something to snack on since our flight was so late. We discovered that almost nothing in Manchester is open at 3pm, especially nowhere that you could get a glass of wine. After a few instances of "driving like a Bostonian" (ie backing up and making u-turns/3-point turns in traffic) we managed to find an irish pub that served only pizza. It was good pizza at least!

She drove to town in a PT Cruiser so we had a car in Manchester, and after taking that thing for a spin (or two or three in downtown Manchester...) I ended up getting another one for us now that we're in Jersey (although it's a much better color... Cherry Red rather than Electric Shock Blue). It's much more fun to drive than the gigantic SUV's I've been having previously, even though no matter what color it is, it's still an ugly car.

Next, we get to drive the Jersey Turnpike to Newark. My wallet is drastically weighed down with coinage for this part of the treck... I'm pretty sure I went overboard. I'm guessing I've got about 10-15 dollars in coins. That's what I get for packing them the morning I was leaving. I'll definitely have to let you know how the hotel that is next to the correction center turns out... Yay Newark!

The Days Get Longer

2008-12-07T14:22:00.000-08:00

Here’s a clearing house post, to make up for the fact that last week, while I had a great presenter I was stuck in a part of the country that made me want to beat myself over the head. No offense to the better parts of the Midwest, but I have to say that Indiana, Toledo in Ohio, and Michigan definitely qualify for “fly-over state” status. Anyways, I’ll give you a run down of things I’ve been thinking about:

Job Satisfaction

At some point in every job I’ve ever had I’ve lost interest. Maybe I have career ADD. I’m good at pushing through for defined periods of time though, something that has helped me with any class I’ve ever taken. Luckily, this job is extremely defined. Two more weeks and I’ll have the first real Christmas break I’ve had in a long time. Maybe that’ll help me wake up at 6am and actually almost care about what I’m doing.

Because in fact, waking up at 6am has become a process of dread. Every day I know I will face people who will not be satisfied… people who rudely refuse to fill out evaluation forms with only 4 questions, people who are insulted that you cannot solve all of the problems that they themselves should have checked on, participants who rudely insinuate that I’m insane to be doing this job, hotel staff that either move like molasses or go so far over the top to be nice that they cant get anything done for all their graciousness. There are plenty of folks who are nice, but it’s hard sometimes to put up with all of the crap that gets thrown my way… especially when I’m in places like Detroit or Toledo where there’s nothing to be done outside the seminar.

Luckily, this week I should be able to go traipsing through Phillidelphia and drive down to the lovely little part of Long Island that another PM and I found last time I was there. Then there’s Chicago… and man am I looking forward to that. It’s going to be great fun to wander around town with KAL, just being low-key but seeing a great city. That’s what I love about this job, and what I just can’t do in Toledo or Detroit—getting out and investigating cities. Detroit’s hotel did have a water park, but considering it had only one slide and I was the only guest in the entire park, it was just awkward.

The Future

It’s the thought of indefinite periods of time spent working a single job that grabs me by the throat and throttle the will to work out of me. That’s what happened with my last lab job… and what I fear will happen once this job is over. I don’t know much more now what I want to do than I knew before. All I know is that I don’t want to spend an exorbitant amount of money on grad school unless I know that it will be worth it. Debt has always scared me and I’d managed to avoid credit cards entirely until now (but those reimbursement checks cover all of that anyways), but to pick up debt in this economy without a clear method of paying it off scares me.

The state of the economy also scares me. What does one do when things are heading towards a depression and there’s no clear career path to head down? I think I need to start working towards a position that can become a career, because I need to be able to build into a promote-able position… but not knowing which direction to go in bogs me down.

In fact, I want to make a plea of anyone who actually reads this. Sometimes people outside of the situation have the clearest sight of the situation. If you don’t mind, I’m extremely curious what any of you see me doing as a career. Please leave a comment… Do you see me in a suit running business meetings? Do you see me back in a lab coat? Do you see me with a reporter’s notebook? Anything would be helpful.

NaNoWriMo

No, I did not finish. I got 60% done, and then realized I needed to rewrite a section of over 800 words as well as write all of the sections that I had not really thought out. Once I got bogged down in feeling sick and not wanting to eat, writing completely lost its excitement and I fell far enough behind that I couldn’t manage to continue. I’m going to try to get the story finished, and the plan is to push for Christmas. It’s horribly terrible in my opinion, and I’m at the point where I hate every word of it, but I wanted to do this, so I’m going to finish it. That’s what I do, complete assignments.

Christmas

As far as Christmas goes, I’m really not feeling it at all this year. Considering I don’t really feel a spiritual connection to the holiday, don’t really feel excited about spending it with family, and pretty much hate the present aspect, I wonder how I make it through every year. Many of my friends are going to leave town around the holidays too, which makes me sad since I finally have time to spend with them.

However, I don’t think I’m a scrooge anymore since I don’t mind that other people enjoy Christmas and I’m happy to try to make their holidays more fun. While I exempt myself from the cousin gift exchanges because I don’t want it to become my aunt buying me a present and my mom buying my cousin a present, I do like to give gifts. I just don’t like feeling forced to do it all at once along with the rest of the world and honestly I really appreciate giving little thoughtful things more than big all-out extravaganzas. Plus, I’m trying to get better at accepting gifts with excitement.

One thing I think I’ve realized is to ask for different things, no matter how much it feels odd to request things out of someone else’s generosity. I don’t want clothes (unless you’re getting me silly socks, underwear, or Christmas pj’s just for fun), but I like getting accessories, especially scarves and mittens and the like (anyone who hasn’t heard of it should check out Etsy.com for fabulous homemade things. If shipping doesn’t work out in time, I’m always a fan of getting a photo of what is headed my way). I’d love a stash of books to take on my flights, or CD’s/iTunes gift cards to entertain me. I’ve already got a decent book list in my archives on this blog, but as for CD’s, I’ll try to fill in a list at some point (although new bands I might like are always appreciated, I’m into slightly folksy music lately a la The Submarines and The Weepies). I also told Mom that I want stuff I hate buying for myself: makeup, perfume, gift cards for treatments like pedicures, haircuts, facials, or massages. Also, no matter how picky I am about coffee now, I’d still love the international coffee currency (ie a Starbucks card).
______________________________________

So that’s that for now. I’m somewhere over the Dakotas on my way to Philly right now, connecting to Manchester, NH (if only it was England!!). I’m hoping to beg the Shuttle driver into driving me to town since I’m going to be lacking a car. Hopefully more posts will happen this week as I can feel the weight of crappy Midwest hotels and grouchy participants lifting. But expect a nice ranty post about the Newark Holiday Inn… ugh.

Southern (and Midwestern) Hospitality

2008-11-24T06:38:00.000-08:00

It may be an outdated concept, but I definitely have been enjoying my couch surfing in the last two weeks. Let me start back a bit, with my stay in Green Bay with KN and her family.

First off, going to Green Bay was surprisingly fun! There were five of us PM's in total, which probably made for much more exciting times than had it just been one of us. We stayed with KN's parents and then met her whole family... a couple aunts, her grandparents, and a brand new baby cousin. Everyone was so adorably wonderful, just like KN herself (we know now where all those fabulous quirks come from!). We ate way too much, drank quite a bit, and enjoyed wandering around Lambeau and taking in the sights. It was all terribly fun while being completely relaxing, which helped since I had a very stressful plane ride immediately following.

On my connecting flight to Pittsburg from Detroit, NWA pissed me off. They never announced that the flight was running late, until 10 minutes after the time it should have left by. Then they refused to tell us how long it would be before we had a plane, and once the plane arrived and we boarded, we sat on the tarmac for over an hour and twenty minutes with deicing and "resolving weight and balance issues" by buring off fuel. It was depressing and horrible being trapped in a plane that long, especially since I wouldn't have needed to eat if the plane had simply taken off, or been deiced... the extra hour on the ground pushed me into really hungry, cranky Ari territory.

And then I had a week with a presenter that slowly sucked the life out of me. He was overly nervous about everything, even his physical appearance was full of nerves. He constantly twitched and fidgeted, constantly prattled on and on about stupid stuff, and was obsessed with stupid things (his hair had to be properly hairsprayed into place and he changed from his black wool dress pants to his black cotton dress pants for traveling so that the wool pants would "hang nice"). A perfectionist beyond belief, he had me packing up all of his displays into very carefully labled boxes which were diagramed so that everything could be put in them perfectly. When he introduced me in the morning to make my announcement he made a bunch of awkward, semi offensive jokes about the company I work for (and he works for...) and then kinda made fun of me as well. His personality was just icing on the cake: he was such an overt attention seeker that his presentation was more about making jokes and showing off than actually explaining the things he was trying to teach. I guess that's what happens when his teaching carreer was only default to his original dream of being a famous actor. A self-absorbed LA'er to the core... the only question he ever asked about me was literally in the last taxi ride as we were pulling into the airport drive.

Luckily, I had a weekend of fun ahead of me, so I made it through working with him with only a few problems (primarily a serious lack of desire for food after too many bad hotel dinners, even when I went all out and tried to have a nice chicken dinner it was dry and gross). Hanging out with MJW & Fiancee was really enjoyable. We slept in late, went to the art museum in ATL to check out a really cool Chinese exhibit, went coat and dress shopping, and headed out dancing later in the night. I haven't had so much fun at a club in a long time... although the prices definitely were right up there at the astronomical level and I ended up getting booze spilt all over my clothes. Luckily, one plastic bag later I can keep those clothes seperate from the mildly clean stuff I need for work.

The best news of all is that I'm going home tomorrow! Laundry and family dinners await, although turkey and all the fixings does not appeal to me yet... I have a car for these two days so I'll be going out to eat at places that are actually decent. Last night I had blackened mahi mahi that was spectacular... along with butter beans and corn and followed by Key Lime pie. I intend to wander around a bit and find somewhere equally tasty for lunch, then enjoy Richmond at dinnertime!

As far as NaNo goes... I'm not going to win. I haven't gotten any further after a lot of stress last week with food and the presenter, and then I enjoyed Atlanta at the expense of my writing time. I'd have to crank out over 20,000 words in this next week, and I just don't feel that I have the energy to do that. Hopefully I can get at least within 10,000 and then polish the story off in the next week or so. I want to print myself a lulu.com copy of the book so that I can say I wrote a novel. It's been an interesting experience thus far, and I'm impressed with how my story has changed over the years (it started as a dream when I was 17) and even throughout the month of writing it. There's a big chunk left to go, mostly back in the beginning, and it's a hard chunk. I have to somehow make a character more believable as well as develop further a bunch of characters in the early stages of the novel before the plot takes over and tests them.

It's not all horrible, although it's definitely not great. I don't think I'd ever attempt to publish this... it's more of an excercise that shows me that I can write a novel, and that I can let this story go. Once it's all tucked away in completion, I'll be able to bring more characters into fullness. I've used this strategy before, writing away something and finding myself finally able to let go of it. Who knows if I could ever actually get published or write a novel worth reading, but as long as I can put this one aside I can move forward right?

Oh yes, for all who are interested: I'm right back to drinking soda, although at a far lower level than I had expected. I'm definitely more interested in iced tea or coffee than diet coke. Perhaps giving it up for that long did make a difference.

Low Fat Quest

2008-11-20T17:15:00.001-08:00

Turns out american food is all the same and all disgusting after a few weeks. I'm dying for Thai or Indian, but the low fat, home cooked versions. When you're forced to eat in airports and hotels you really do get the shitiest stuff too. I'm sick of chains and having no car. Next two weeks I'll be driving, THANK GOD. Three all fly weeks already has me drained. That and a presenter who's a real whackadoodle.

I feel gross from all the bad food I've had this week. Hopefully I can make something good this weekend with Mo....... Please, MJW let me cook for you!! :)

Closing In

2008-11-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

Closing in on 25,000 words--halfway. I had to take a break due to an exciting weekend in Green Bay and the threat of an impending cold. I'm feeling better and writing again, although I'm intrigued by one thing:

I do some really messed up things to my characters.

I finished beating the crap out of my main character and now I'm forcing one character to accidentally kill his brother. How do I come up with this crap? :P

So much, so little

2008-11-12T12:07:00.001-08:00

I'm one day away from completing my no-soda goal. Tomorrow the highlight of my day might not be sightseeing in Toledo but the diet coke I will allow myself to drink if I want it. It'll be interesting if I want it or if I've cured myself of the craving now. I've been craving soda all the time, but somehow I think I will be less excite to drink it than I thought. Just goes to show...

I'm aiming to knock myself to 20,000 NaNo words by tomorrow night. I'm at 16,500 so maybe it's possible? I'll still be behind, but much closer to pace than I am now. I have no idea if I can get through this, but I have hope and perserverence, or at least I hope I can perservere...

And I think I just got asked on my first road date by an older Michigan man... Ewww. Good thing I'm off to Toledo!

The Seasons

2008-11-06T12:01:00.000-08:00

So I had a week of summer two weeks ago, then a week of fall in New England last week, and this week the trees are bare and I got my first snow flurry! It's fun having things change like that as I pass through.

Some days I don't take a lot of photos because I'm simply trapped in the hotel room or on the way to the airport. It's sad not getting a good idea of a city, but at the same time, I can't do and see everything. My exhaustion this week proves it.

I think I have hit the lull point of the new-job process, where I'm not quite 100% at the job, but it's familiar enough that I relax into it... and make a lot of mistakes. At least it's generally okay to make mistakes in life. I still feel bad when things go funky though.

I had an amazing conversation with my Kelly temp today, a man who grew up in Nigeria and moved to the US and then Canada. It's fun meeting people along the way and suddenly finding myself in deep philosophical conversations.

This weekend I need to do nothing on a grand scale.

An Off Day in Edmonton

2008-11-05T13:18:00.000-08:00

Turns out having a perpetually sunny attitude wears me down after a while. I've definitely surprised myself with how consistently optimistic I've been lately even in the face of canceled flights and crappy speaker systems, but today for some reason I'm just off. The day started out fine, especially with the election results buzzing around in my head, but I just don't really have the energy to be particularly proactive. You think the room is cold? Well, you should generally have a sweater with you if it's only 40 degrees outside, so maybe you could put that on... The speakers stink? Let's adjust the volume as far as I can and then just give up to the worthless little speakers in the gigantic room. You want me to have a cab waiting? Okay, I'll make a call but who knows if it will show up on time...

My presenter isn't bad at all this week. In fact we had a ton of fun last night waiting for results to start coming in. I just think that Wednesdays are hard days for me. I'm fully exhausted and just want to not deal with another person who feels like they want their certificate at the afternoon break rather than waiting til the end like everyone else. If I wanted to hand out all the certificates at the afternoon break, I would be doing that. I made the mistake of giving a few out to some women who had a 3 hour drive post-seminar, and then suddenly EVERYONE had at least a 3 hour drive and I ended up passing out half the certificates by hand.

See, I just have this icky attitude creeping in. Maybe it has a little to do with the fact that I'm over 1500 words behind on NaNo... I think tonight I'll try to lock myself in my Calgary hotel room and write. Hopefully there will be no wi-fi there.

Election Day

2008-11-04T19:09:00.000-08:00

Just to let all those in the USA know... I've heard two Canadian channels call the election already, and about 12 winter tire commercials.

I'm still holding my breath, considering the last two elections were definitely not something that I could believe and they still are the only elections I had any real investment in. I am really hoping that the voter turnout and eventual results actually make me proud to be American again.

[Edit 10:53pm MST]
There's really nothing I can say. I'm just deeply proud.

Yes we can.

Now I just hope we will.

Notes from Canada...

2008-11-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

1. Winnepeg smells like cow.

2. I brilliantly went to get cash this weekend, and forgot that I am in Canada this entire week, thus necessitating CANADIAN dollars. Luckily, I didn't need to tip last night before I could get to an ATM and then find change at the front desk.

3. When will the wonky accent start to take hold of my vocabulary? Aboot now, eh...

NaNo NaNo...

2008-10-31T08:55:00.001-07:00

The question I pose to you today is this: what would you do with 3+ hours a day of sitting at a desk with minimal work to do? If you said, "Write a novel in the course of a month," you should definitely join me in the quest of NaNoWriMo.

National Novel Writing Month has been on my list of things to do for a long time, but this is my first chance to have hours of unused time to spend writting 50,000 words in 30 days (that's 1,667 words a day for the non-math inclined). I'm going for it with a story I've ha in my head for a long time. Nothing earth shattering in my opinion, but it's there and fleshed out mentally enough to make for a good first NaNo attempt.

If you're planning on joining me in this quest (yay EGW!!) let me know and help keep me to my word. I plan on cheating a bit, and starting on the plane ride this evening. What else to do for however long my computer battery wil last?

This may mean less frequent posts on the blog, or more frequent writer's block posts... We shall see!

You Are My Lucky Star…

2008-10-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

My mother constantly says I live under a lucky star, and I have to say I agree. When my cab driver picked me up in Long Island to drive us to LGA airport, I left a solid 2 hours to allow for traffic. We made it the 60 miles in about 65 minutes. Before you think anything, just know that we also left our hotel at 5pm. The driver was in as much shock as I was, probably even more!

Sometimes I am stunned at how lucky I am, but maybe I just recognize it more often. There’s plenty of unlucky things that have happened already: my flight was canceled yesterday, my tortillia soup in San Antonio was disgusting, there have been multiple issues with my faxes for work, my projector bulb died, and let’s face it… I haven’t gotten a presenter who liked to go out of the hotel. But for all those things that are bad (the flight and the bulb being by far the worst), it’s always worked out. I got put on a better flight than I was booked for yesterday. My projector problem was fixed in less than five minutes. And actually, for all the bad food and exhausted presenters, I’ve still gotten out and gone into more cities in the last few weeks than I’ve ever managed before in a similar string of time. I even maximized time in Seattle by running off to Leavenworth with some friends to eat brats and take fall photos.

Rochester was a fun city to be in actually. There was beautiful old architecture and lots of newspaper buildings and statues around town. I wandered during lunch and then picked up a sandwich at a shop on my way back to the hotel. Then today in Ronkonkama (Long Island) I met up with another PM and we found lunch in a little part of town called Sayville, which was adorable looking and had AMAZING pizza. This is the kind of life I lead now. Sometimes I just want to explode with happiness and amazement. This is an almost daily experience. How did I get here again?

I really am a lucky girl. I can hardly believe it sometimes. But the more I believe it the luckier I get. I really think it’s half grace, half attitude—half blessing, half my own openness and efforts—never all my own credit, but partly my fault. Or maybe I just like to think so.

Travel Drama in Rochester

2008-10-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

I think I'm developing a true ambivalence towards US Airways... with strong feelings in both extremes.

The initial dislike came from the facts that they charge for drinks on the plane ($2 for an orange juice or soda!) and don't really have the most cushioned of seats. That's really nothing, since their flight was more or less on time the last time I flew them. But then I flew them yesterday...

I checked my flight status at 2:30pm, like our schedule allows, and the flight was delayed by 10 minutes-- really inconsequential, and easily made up time. Then as we waited for the shuttle an hour later (our flight was scheduled for 5:30pm), I checked once again on my phone. Suddenly the word "Canceled" became a part of my travel experience vocabulary. Evidently mechanical problems had grounded our plane. I found the phone number for US Airways and called the airline to see what the options were. A 4pm flight was going out and a 7pm flight... I got her to guarantee us on the 7pm flight since I thought there'd be no way in hell we'd make it for the 4pm.

We pulled up at the ticket counter at about 3:58 and started to check ourselves in when the ticket agent asked us if we were on the canceled flight. We said yes, and she called into the gate agent to see if we could make the 4pm flight. Luckily for us, Rochester airport is tiny and the 4pm flight hadn't even started boarding yet! The wonderful woman tagged all four of our big bags to check, and my presenter was such a trouper as we rushed through security and ran for the gate. We made the flight with time to spare and ended up getting into the hotel a full hour before we'd have made it if we'd taken our canceled flight.

So, damn you US Air for canceling my flight, charging me for even a soda, and packing us in like sardines. But thank you US Air (or at least your ticket agents at Rochester and that one oh-so-luckily late flight) for helping us catch a flight we thought we'd never make.

Rolling Through

2008-10-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Making the most of the short time I have in a city is sometimes really difficult. When I get into town it's already dark and then I have to combat hunger and fatigue to get myself to move. This week is both easy and hard because I'm flying everywhere... Hard because I have no mode of transportation other than cabs but easy because I've got some great cities.

In Houston I took the hotel shuttle to get some BBQ at Goode Co. The next night in San Antonio, I made the effort to go out and see the alamo and riverwalk on the local shuttle, but I ended up spending money on a cab ride home (although, for <$10 total, it was worth it!). Dallas was a stay at the hotel night, since we were in the middle of nowhere. Phoenix was fun because another PM was in town and so we went out to get some dinner. Then last night my presenter and I went to the hotel bar to chat, drink, and look at some of her amazing photos from her african safari. Today my flight doesn't leave until late so I'm going to be able to check my bags at the hotel and borrow their shuttle to Old Town to wander around the fun parts of Albuquerque.

So all in all, I guess I'm making the most of this job. I'll see how much I can keep this up, especially in colder climates. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough, or doing my job well because there is no one around to compare myself to. Perhaps that's the best thing of all... to be in a position to not really compare myself to other people. I definitely get feedback messages from my manager to reconfirm that I am not screwing up and in fact am doing quite well. God I appreciate those after not having much in the way of real feedback in my previous jobs... or maybe I just appreciate feeling managed rather than feeling like someone who is supervised by someone who makes awkward the general feeling surrounding them.

Oh, and by the way...

where the hell did all these social skills come from?

...and why have I been relegating myself to being the "nerd" when the only nerdy thing I really have going is the fact that every once in a while I throw out a rather large (but utterly appropriate) word?

Warm Fuzzies

2008-10-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

We had some extra guests at today's seminar in Dallas: two ten-day-old cottontail bunnies being nursed by two participants who regularly do animal rescue work. These little guys had just opened their eyes, and were residing in a cozy basket lined with a sweater for most of the seminar. They were so absurdly adorable! It made me miss Zoe terribly though... King sized beds are definitely big enough to accommodate her nighttime sprawl and I think I could use the snuggles.

Disconnect is a part of this job. I've walked away from everyone I know and have to forge what I can out of transitory encounters. Luckily, my friends are amazing. The number of people who I'm in touch with on a regular basis surprises me honestly, but I guess I'm making more of an effort myself as well. I feel like I can see into the future where I'll be sitting at this registration table and feeling so incredibly alone and lost in the world... unable to even remember my room number after so many room numbers have passed through my head... but what I know I can count on is that there are a lot of people back home and other places that are still there, waiting for me to call and talk about each and every crazy thing that's happened.

There's program managers that I can share the nitty-gritty complaints about hotel staff that won't bring the banquet bill unless chased up and down three long hallways; girlfriends to squeal about the cute waiter that brought my dinner and stayed around to chat since I was alone and it was long past the rush; and then there's the guy friends who insist on worrying about my safety and are there to talk to when I'm walking somewhere a little sketchy or in a strange taxi (even if the solace I get is from what I see as their unneccessary anxiety). Mom and Dad are a constant... and my lil' sis, who's getting her own place, has me all excited for her!

Really, I've got all the warm fuzzies I need and I'm discovering that I'm resourceful enough to find whatever I'm lacking while being on the road. Well, at least for the first week and a half...

When life is like TV, you just hope it's a comedy

2008-10-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've had my many sit-com moments in my life, the greatest of which may have been the twins/junior prom episode, but I won't go into that one right now. Right now I'm getting snippets of a certain cartoon...

First things first, I'm in Houston having a lovely seminar. Next door there is a seminar for Terminex workers. One guy in particular has been coming over and chatting me up, in a friendly, only slightly skeezy way. Thing is, the guy has a complete "King of the Hill" accent... and at one point commented on my lunch (a goat cheese salad from Trader Joes) by saying "We had steak!"

He's totally Dale.

Flights

2008-10-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

As per the great KAL's suggestion, I've inputted my flights into flightmemory.com. Now you can all see my ridiculous hours spent on planes and look at a criscrossed map to see how insane I actually am. The link to my flights is at:

http://my.flightmemory.com/arirose

I've also included it in the links at the right column. Have fun tracking me around the country!

Week 1 Recap

2008-10-19T11:31:00.001-07:00

The lack of posts last week might be rectified this week... I brought my computer. Even better, I'm sitting at my gate waiting for my Continental flight to Houston and discovered that I'm close enough to the outside of the "Elite Access" club room that I can pick up the free wifi signal. :)

Last week was a whirlwind... Packing was stressful, flying was typical, renting a car and driving in a new state was completely new and different, and being with my training group was fun and helped me get a handle on how all of these various little components of the job come together to make sense on a daily basis. Yet, it was nice to get rid of all the extra people and just do the job. Learning anything new takes more mental energy than once you've got a handle on it, and that was definitely the case all week. I came home exhausted, but thrilled with everything.

As for the highlights: seeing Maureen in Atlanta, making a lunch run over the river to take pictures in Kansas, getting room service and watching the debate in St. Louis, and splurging on a taxi ride to the Five Points South district of Birmingham and getting Indian at Taj, as recommended by a friend who grew up in B-ham. Some of the crazy moments: driving into construction and detour "road spaghetti" on the way to the St. Louis airport, working with the slowest staff ever in B-ham and having to ask for every little detail that was already outlined on their confirmation sheet, and realizing that coming into a city in the dark every night means I might be sketched out in even a nice part of town. My presenter this week was nice enough, although she had very little interest in going out or leaving the hotel. In fact, she liked to get to where she needed to go right away and stay there. No dinners out with her, but at least I had my training group to ease the boredom.

So some statistics (as per the suggestion of my dear friend KN :)):

flights: 4
airlines: Delta (x2), Southwest, American
cars rented: Blue Chevy Trailblazer
states visited: Georgia, Missouri, Kansas, Alabama
new states: 4
dinners alone: 2

This week is a southwest adventure, from Houston to San Antonio, to Dallas, to Phoenix, to Alburquerque and then home. I'll be flying every day this week and racking up the miles! We'll see how much internet I can manage, but hopefully I'll be able to at least stake out claims near the elite clubs. :)

The Proof is in the Packing

2008-10-08T23:23:00.000-07:00

Does there ever come a time when doubt won't leak in around the tightly sealed edges of your thoughts? Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting beside an open window in a rainstorm--the window screen catches the drops and splinters them into a fine mist when they are small, but as they grow in size and force the screen does nothing to hold them back from splattering all over my face. I can sit in a room and know that in three weeks time, everything I'm being presented with will be simple, and that in three months time it will be second nature. I can know that I am amazing myself with my ability to be someone I can hardly recognize while still be able to be someone who is more myself than I have been in ages. I can know that there is no reason to be nervous or scared, since everything will work itself out... and the doubt can still creep in.

I know better than to worry or to feel like I can't handle this, because I so completely can. My resume proves it, my friends and family know it, and the company would not have hired me if I hadn't shown it very convincingly. Even with all the support the company is providing to me and all my fellow travelers, our managers have said more than once that if we are not feeling overwhelmed by the end of the week, we are kidding ourselves. They were exactly right. Day one was much easier to get through without feeling nervous, but after going through more of the nitty-gritty details today, I'm starting to feel it creeping in.

Really though, when you first start any job you're bound to feel overwhelmed. Aside from that, this job is potentially much more overwhelming than any other I've had because once you are on the road by yourself, you're in charge of almost everything and have all the freedom in the world to make decisions, and make mistakes. Basically, we've got 4 days in town preparing, 2 days on the road with managers and groups, and 1 day with a buddy to help keep us in line, then 2 days on our own with our presenters and away we go. It's hard to keep in mind that we've had 2 days here, and there are still 2 to go... and that in that amount of time we'll be able to learn so much. It's just interesting to me how easy it is to get completely down on myself yet have that positive voice still screaming out to be believed. I feel likes I just need some kind of proof that I can do this job, or to actually be able to take myself on faith.

But I'll either have to wait till Monday to see how I actually handle a seminar or suddenly find faith in myself. Maybe I can find the faith and the proof together. After all, that is the real goal of this whole adventure.

a movement

2008-10-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

Turns out organization is a never-ending process. Somehow there is always something new to find a place for, make a system around, or just stuff in a box to get it out of the way. A part of me wants to take all the shells in my room and send them out to sea... set them free so that I don't have to find another place for them.

Moving home is hard in so many ways. My room has been empty space for so long that it's accumulated lots of old mementos as well as some newer ones. The time has come to move some stuff out of the way, but how do you get rid of beautiful or meaningful objects? I can't. Instead I put them into a trunk and try to figure out where to put the trunk. The trunk feels like a giant weight of what I used to be... in some ways an embarrassment in its proof that I've been so far from where I want to be. I'm in a mood of wanting to drop everything and cling to everything at the same time. I miss my old room so much it hurts, and all it was was a tiny box I could hardly fit my stuff into.

I've got my bookshelf set up, and that makes it feel more like home. Only one problem: the text books lurking on the bottom shelf, reminding me that I haven't started studying yet. I'm so wrapped up in procrastination I'm starting to wonder if I'll actually take the subject GRE. The plan seems so clear: Go to UCSC next fall if they'll have me. The practice is one of getting past all the emotional roadblocks I have. I hate grad school in principle: you have to be prepared to go almost a full year before you actually start classes. I have one month to cram if I decide to do it. I can do it, reasonably well, but I have to decide.

I have to get moving, get my errands run, get things in order. Soon, I'll be moving non-stop and there will be no time for nerves.

the tingle of fear

2008-10-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

I find it interesting that lately I don't really go out of my way to investigate what I'm afraid of, or to really write about it often. I don't try getting to the heart of why watching political events unfold sometimes makes me burst into tears or why my hands sometimes start shaking while I try to do things to prepare for my new job. I don't really look into why I'm reaching out to so many people in a superficial way, trying to re-establish connections that in the past I just let slide.

I don't write about how scared I am that no one has the answers for the country and that really, no one knows who would be able to deal better with the circumstances that have yet to fall into place over the next four years. However, I do know some things that I cannot stand for and watching those exact principles supported so strongly by both friends and complete strangers makes me ache inside.

I don't write that I'm actually scared that my little "crash course in social skills" is going to prove over my head. I'd rather not give any purchase to the idea that I am innately socially inept.

Even more so, I don't want to admit that I'm scared that I will lose all tenuous connections to the people in my life over the next year. I don't want to say that sometimes I worry that I will lose people to significant others, to other friends who are more relatable and exciting, or to a eventual boredom with me and lack of connection due to my absence. I don't want to admit that I am still scared that I cannot live up to expectations.

So I just try not to look into it. I might put on fancy pants and heels and look in the mirror and see the eight-year-old girl with scraggly hair that never figured out how to grow up, but I blink over and over until I see the twenty-four year old version standing there, less awkwardly. I pull out my grown-up phone and try to find a way to assure myself that I do know what I'm doing. I write lists of books I will try to read, and make pizzas to "better myself" and don't post about being scared. Because really, all fear takes its power from my admission of it and my acquiescence to it. If I stand up and laugh at it I can move forward. If I wallow in it, I am consumed by it.

But it is such a comforting blanket... or at least it disguises itself that way.

From My iPhone

2008-09-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

I'm testing out my new toy... And sadly deciding that photo uploading to blogger is beyond me. Anyone have advice?

Piece of Cake Pizza

2008-09-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

Yeast scares me. I don't know what to do with it outside of a bread machine. So I took a page from the Joy of Cooking (and from my roommate who's amazing with all things baking) and made some pizza (#27 complete!). Turns out, it only takes about 2.5 hours total... not too bad for two large pizzas!

Pizza a la Adrian

Dough:
1 packet Active Dry Yeast
1 1/3c Warm Water
3 1/2c Flour
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 tbsp Salt
1 tbsp Sugar (optional)

Mix yeast with water and let disolve for 5 minutes.
Add remaining ingredients and mix until the dough combines and is smooth.
Form it into a ball and drizzle with olive oil. Place dough ball into a bowl and cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let rise until it doubles in size (about 1-1.5 hours) in a warm place (75-80ºF).
Punch down dough and divide in half, wrap each half in plastic and let rest for 10-15 minutes. Meanwhile, grease and dust 2 baking sheets with olive oil and corn meal and preheat oven to 425ºF.
Stretch dough carefully (I did this both in the air and then on the cookie sheet) to fill baking sheet. Fold and pinch edge to form crust. Brush with olive oil to prevent it from getting soggy and dimple it with your fingers to prevent it from bubbling.

Sauce (make while crust is rising):
2 tbsp Olive Oil
1 small Onion, diced
3 cloves Garlic, crushed
1, 28oz can of Crushed Tomatoes
2-3 tbsp Italian Seasoning (dried)
1 tbsp Parsley (dried)
3 stems of Basil

Saute onion and garlic. Add tomatoes and seasonings.
Simmer for 10-15 minutes minimum to thicken.
Allow to cool. Spread over prepared crust.

Toppings:
1lb Mozzarella Cheese
chopped basil
sliced garlic
sliced tomatoes
chopped onion
chopped red pepper
sliced kalamata olives
...really, anything goes here

Sprinkle toppings over pizza, cheese goes last.
Place Pizza in oven and bake for 12-15 minutes until cheese is bubbly and melted and crust is slightly browned.
Devour... but don't burn the roof of your mouth!